DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

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M. F. 

Aaron Boggs, Freshman, 3 

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Abbu San of Old Japan, 2 acts, 

2 hrs. (25c) 15 

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All on Account of Polly, 3 acts, 

214 hrs (25c) 6 10 

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As a Woman Thinketh, 3 acts, 

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At the End of the Rainbow, 3 

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Bank Cashier, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 

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Black Heifer, 3 acts, 2 h. (2Sc) 9 3 
Boy Scout Hero, 2 acts, 1^4 hrs, 

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Brother Tosiah, 3 acts,. 2 hrs. 

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Civil Service, 3 acts, 2^4 hrs. 

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Dream That Came True, 3 

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Editor-in-Chief, 1 hr....(25c) 10 
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Face at the Window, 3 atts, 2 

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Fun on the Podunk Limited, 

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Her Honor, the Mayor,' 3 acts, 

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High School Freshman, 3 acts, 

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Honor of a Cowboy, 4 acts, 2% 

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M. F. 

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Kicked Out of College, 3 acts, 

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Kingdom of Heart's Content, 3 

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Laughing Cure, 2 acts, V/i hrs. 

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Old School at Hiek'ry Holler, 

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2 hrs (25c) 6 4 

Thread of Destiny, 3 acts, 214 

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To#v, the Convict, 5 acts, 2^ 

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Town Marshal, 4 acts, 2^4 

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Trial of Hearts, 4 acts, 2^ hrs, 

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Uncle Josh, 4 acts, 254 hrs. (25c) 8 3 
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When the Cir-cus Came to 

Town, 3 acts, 2H hrs. (25c) 5 3 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers,154 W. Randolph St. , Chicago 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 



A Comedy Drama of the Great Southwest 

In Four Acts 



BY 

SHELDON PARMER 

AUTHOR OF 

'Lighthouse Nan" and "Safety First. 




CHICAGO 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY 

Publishers 



^%^ 



^^..^'' 



^"^ 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

Farley Gantt The Cozvboy Sheriff 

Paul Quillian His Partner 

Duke Blackshear A Stranger from Frisco 

Hezekl\h Bugg A Glorious Liar 

Yow Kee A Heathen Chinee 

Big Elk A Navajo Chief 

Grizzly Grimm A Cattle Thief 

]\Iarguerite ]\Ioore The Pretty Ranch Ozvner 

Mrs. Petunia Bugg From Old Indianny 

CoRALiE Blackshear Duke's Sister 

Fawn Afraid An Indian Maid 

Young'un Not Much of Anybody 

Cowboys. 

SYNOPSIS. 

Act I. Exterior of the Palace Hotel, Purple Do^, Ari- 
zona. A morning in October. The Partners. 

Act II. Same scene, afternoon of the same day. The 
Sheriff does his duty. 

Act III. Same as Acts I and II. The abduction of 
Marguerite. 

Act IV. A Cave in the IMountains. The Sacrifice of the 
Indian IMaid. 

Time of Playing — About Tzvo and One-Quarter Hours. 

Notice. — Production of this play is free to amateurs, but the sole 
professional rights are reserved by the author, who may be ad- 
dressed in care of the Publishers. Moving picture rights reserved. 

copyright, 1918, BY T. S. DEXISOX & COMPANY. 



JUL 15 1918 ©CID 49970 
TMP96-00676a 



^1-*.^ 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 



THE STORY OF THE PLAY. 

Farley Gantt, the cowboy Sheriff, is a coura^^eous cattle 
puncher in Arizona who has made himself so popular with 
his fellow cowboys that they elected him Sheriff. While 
the Sheriff has been rounding up a bunch of cattle thieves 
in the plains, his partner, Paul Quillian, has become infat- 
uated with Coralie Blackshear, a stranger from Frisco. 
Under the evil influence of Coralie and her brother, Duke 
Blackshear, a polished gambler and cattle rustler, Paul be- 
gins to drink and gamble and finally loses his position as 
paymaster of the Double Z ranch. 

The scene of the play is at Purple Dog, Ariz., a cross- 
roads village boasting several houses and a Palace Hotel. 
The Double Z ranch is owned by a college girl, Miss Mar- 
guerite Moore, who has a great admiration for the cowboy 
Sheriff. Farley returns this admiration tenfold, but the 
course of true love is roughened by the crooked tongue of a 
Navajo Indian maiden, Fawn Afraid, who is in love with 
the Sheriff. Farley returns from the plains and learns that 
Paul has lost his position. He decides to save the boy if 
possible, and in a strong, dramatic scene with his partner 
appeals to his better nature to give up the course he is 
pursuing and go with him out on the range. 

Paul refuses, being completely under the influence of 
Coralie and her brother, who plan to have him reinstated as 
paymaster of the ranch and then to steal the cowboys' pay 
and make a getaway to Frisco. This plan seems about to 
work when Yow Kee, a Chinaman employed at the Palace 
Hotel, overhears the scheme and informs the cowboy Sher- 
iff. Marguerite refuses to re-employ Paul and hires Heze- 
kiah Bugg as paymaster. Coralie and Duke, realizing that 
their former scheme is impossible, decide to steal the money 
from Bugg, which they do after wounding him. A little 
waif, known as Young'un, sees Coralie stab Hezekiah, and 
when Paul's infatuation for the woman leads him to assume 
her guilt, Young'un tells the truth and dramatically reveals 
the stolen money. 



4 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

Two months pass and the love affair between the Sheriff 
and the pretty ranch owner is finally straightened out by 
the Indian maid, who bravely confesses that she lied for 
love of the Sheriff. Duke and his lieutenant, one Grizzly 
Grimm, have found an almost inaccessible cave in the buttes 
known as the Black Hole. They decide to kidnap Mar- 
guerite and hold her in this cave until a ransom is paid. 
The plan succeeds, but she is rescued by Farley and Big 
Elk, the Navajo chief. 

A strong feature of this play is the abundance of bristling, 
clean-cut and breezy western comedy that eliminates all pos- 
sibilities of there being any dull or dead moments. A mis- 
chievous little cow-girl, a bossy old woman, a funny China- 
man always in trouble and always looking for more, and 
Hezekiah Bugg, the biggest liar in the State of Arizony, 
will keep the audience in continual good humor. 



SYNOPSIS FOR PROGRAM. 

Act I — Outside the Palace Hotel, Purple Dog, Arizona. 
The cowboys pitch horseshoes. Hezekiah Bugg, the cham- 
peen liar of the State of Arizony, tells about the cyclone of 
'89 that melted the locomotive. Yow Kee, the heathen 
Chinee, appears. Hezekiah's wife routs the cowboys. Mar- 
guerite Moore, the pretty ranch owner, defends Arizona. 
"For clear-eyed, true-hearted honesty and courage, I'll back 
the boys of old Arizona against the world." The Navajo 
Chief resents an insult. The Cowboy Sheriff appears. 
"Drop it, stranger, drop it. If there's any shootin' to be did, 
I reckon the Sheriff gits first shot !" Farley Gantt, the 
Sheriff, tells the dramatic story of his fight for life in 
Alaska and his love for his partner, Paul Quillian. Yow 
Kee takes the seidlitz powders one at a time. "Allee samee 
fizzee like a firecracker!" The partners quarrel. The old, 
old story of the spider and the fly. "He's my partner and 
I'll watch over him !" 

Act II — The same scene. Hezekiah does the family 
washing and spins his wonderful yarns about the days of 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 5 

'89. Young'un, the waif from the poor-house, meets Paul 
and gives him some good advice. "If I was you, I'd jest 
buckle down and win, by heck!" Young'un bluffs the vil- 
lains. Fawn Afraid, the Indian maiden, visits the village. 
The Sheriff tells Marguerite of his love. The crooked 
tongue of the Navajo maid. Duke Blackshear, and his 
sister, Coralie, plot mischief, but Yow Kee is under the 
table. Hezekiah made the new paymaster. "I ain't had 
so much money since '89." Paul and Coralie. The temp- 
tress. "One thrust and the money is ours !" The crime. 
"This is the hardest job I've ever had to do in my life. 
I've got to arrest my partner !" Young'un exposes Coralie 
and saves Paul. 

Act III — The same scene, two months later. Young'un 
has blossomed into a young lady. Miss Kittie Jones. Mar- 
guerite tells her the beautiful allegory of the ladder of love. 
Paul becomes interested in Kittie. "Two is company and 
three is a whole army." Hezekiah comes in too soon, 
"rt sounded like our old heifer pullin' her foot ker- 
smack out'n the mud." "I ain't been so shocked since I 
was kissed by the Queen of Egypt in '89." Fawn Afraid 
makes a confession to Marguerite. The Sheriff and the 
lady. A glimpse of Paradise. The Chinaman turns the 
tables on Grizzly Grimm. "Hands up, or me blow gizzard 
all fullee lat-holes !" The abduction of Marguerite. Big 
Elk and the Sheriff take the trail. 

Act IV— The Black Hole in the Buttes. ^ Marguerite, 
the prisoner of Duke Blackshear and Grizzly Grimm. 
"Back, you hound, or I will kill you !" The fideHty of the 
little Indian girl. An unequal fight. "She's a traitor, and 
must die a traitor's death !" A sudden interruption. Ar- 
rested by the Sheriff in the name of the State of Arizona. 
"They might hang me, but I'll kill you first, Farley Gantt !" 
Little Fawn Afraid saves Farley's life at the loss of her 
own. "The light has gone out of Fawn's eyes, so the light 
of the sun has gone out for Big Elk." The bravest little 
girl in Arizona. "The light is beginning to shine on a new 
day, the light of love !" 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 



COSTUMES. 



Farley Gantt — Aged 26. Fur chaps, spurs, blue shirt, 
cowboy hat, gauntlets, knife, revolver and rifle. An unedu- 
cated son of the soil, but one of nature's noblemen, fear- 
less, brave, and manly, but showing the true hero's tender- 
ness toward the ones he loves, Paul and Marguerite. A 
strong, dramatic leading role. 

Paul Quillian — Aged 20. Boots, woolen shirt, cowboy 
hat. Knife in belt. Face very pale in Acts I and II. Also 
in these acts he moves listlessly with a "down and out" air. 
Complete change to manly youth in Acts III and IV with 
good healthy make-up. 

Duke Blackshear — Aged 30. Dark hair and small black 
mustache. A cool, calculating, keen villain, well educated, 
with suave manners and a ready, treacherous smile. Leather 
puttees. Riding suit and derby hat in Acts I and II. Cow- 
boy suit in Acts III and IV. 

Hezekiah Bugg — Talkative, boasting old man of 55. 
Small of stature. Rough yellow or gray wig and whiskers. 
Old boots. Very old and patched overalls. Gingham shirt. 
Home-made suspenders. Tattered old felt hat, something 
like a clown's cap. Corn-cob pipe. A great comedy part. 
Line the face with gray and redden the nose. 

Yow Kee — A small, active Chinaman. Slanting eye- 
brows. Home-made wig of close fitting skull cap all over 
head and long pig-tail of black horse-hair and thread. Paint 
face and skull cap with yellow grease paint, then use pow- 
der on it. Assume a sly, Innocent expression. White socks, 
black cloth, rubber soled shoes, loose baggy trousers of blue. 
White pajama coat. Yellow grease paint on hands. 

Big Elk — A very tall, dignified man of 50. Black Indian 
wig in two braids on either side of face. Red feather at 
back of head. Full Indian costume, blanket and mocca- 
sins. Powerful build. Quick, panther-like movements. 
Make-up with reddish tan grease paint. 

Grizzly. A burly cowboy make-up. Red flannel shirt, 
leather chaps. Sombrero. A typical bad man of the west- 



I 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 7 

ern camps. May wear red wig, whiskers, mustache and eye- 
brows. Speak with hoarse, throaty voice. A natural bully. 

Marguerite — A well-educated, self-possessed girl of 20. 
Riding costume and sombrero in Acts I and II. Pretty 
dress in Acts III and IV. 

Mrs. Bugg — Big, commanding woman of 45. Hair pow- 
dered and in knob at back of head. Calico dress and soiled 
apron. Sun-bonnet, preferably black. Change costume in 
Act III. 

Coralie — A brunette of 25. Trailing red dress, hat and 
parasol. 

Fawn — An Indian maiden of 19. Indian costume and 
make-up. Feather in hair. 

Young'un — Aged 16. Wig of long yellow curls. Short 
tattered dress and old shoes in Acts I and II. Pretty in- 
genue dress in Act III. 



PROPERTIES. 

Act I. 
Porch built of scantlings and painted brown. 
Two natural trees to be nailed to stage. 
Grass mats (may be borrowed from a photograph gallery). 
Small, rough table. 
Two benches. 

Tree stump (made of a keg, painted to represent tree). 
Several horseshoes. 
Revolvers for Grizzly, Duke, Farley. 
Tray with bottles and glasses for Yow Kee. 
Broom for Mrs. Bugg. 
Basket containing bottle similar to the other one, for 

Young'un. 
Slap-stick under the table. Get two flour barrel staves, 

place them together, then between them at the upper 

end nail a piece of wood an inch thick and a foot in 

length. 
Rifles for Farley and Bugg. 
Corn-cob pipe for Bugg. 



8 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

Glass of water, spoon and two powders in paper for 
Young'un. 

Act IL 

Washtub, wringer and garments for Bugg. 

Fan for Young'un. 

Hen (alive) for Yow Kee. 

Tobacco for Duke. 

Knives for Duke, Fawn and Paul. 

Package of stage money for Bugg. 

Act III. 
Tray of dishes for Yow Kee. Use broken china as it is to 

be dropped. 
Shawl for Grizzly. 



SCENE PLOT. 
Acts I— II—III. 

Mountain Drop 



Wing ^/?oc;„ ^ A ^Ing 

Tree | 




Table 

Tree Bench □ | | DRpn^.A'^ 




Right 



Stage Directions. 



R. means right of stage; C, center; R. C, right center; 
L., left; I E., first entrance ; U . E., upper entrance; R. j E., 
right entrance, up stage, etc.; up stage, away from foot- 
lights; dozvn stage, near footlights. The actor is supposed 
to be facing the audience. 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 



Act I. 



Scene : Exterior of the Palace Hotel, Purple Dog, Ariz. 
Mountains or woods for hack drop. A rocky run ap- 
pears at R. four feet high at entrance and descending to 
floor at C. near front. . Rough porch built of scantlings and 
painted brozvn appears dozvn L., mith practical door. A 
sign on the porch reading, ''Palace Hotel." Natural tree 
growing down R., smaller tree up L. Grass mats around 
stage. Small table with tzvo benches in front of the hotel. 
Stump down R. Natural boughs may be attached to side 
scenes and overhang the stage. 

At rise of the curtain Hezekiah Bugg, Grizzly Grimm 
and four or five Cowboys are discovered at rear R. pitching 
horseshoes off stage to rear L. 

Grizzly Grimm (pitches horseshoe). Whoopee! Look 
at that? Ringer, by the great horn spoon. 

Hezekiah Bugg. Humph ! That ain't nothin'. Watch 
yer daddy pitch. (Pitches horseshoe). Right over the peg, 
by heck ! 

Grizzly (sarcastically) . Yep, about four foot over. 

Bugg. I beat him, I beat him! Didn't I, boys? (Exit 
rear L.) 

Grizzly. Beat me? Me! There ain't no Bugg in the 
State o' Arizony kin beat me pitchin' ringers. (Exit rear 
L. follozved by all.) 

Bugg (outside rear L.). Lookee here! That's mine! I 
beat ye ! 

Grizzly (outside L.). 'Tain't yourn, it's mine. That 
war mine, waren't it, men? 

Enter Grizzly from rear L. carrying horseshoe, follozved 
by Bugg and Cowboys. 

Bugg. I should say not. Most emphatically I should 
articulate. 



10 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

Grizzly (his face close to Bugg's, speaks loudly). Shet 
up! 

BuGG (meekly). I'm shet! 

Grizzly. Now ain't I the champeen? 

BuGG. No, you hain't. That there ringer was mine, 
wasn't it, boys? 

Cowboys. Sure it was. It belonged to Bugg. 

Grizzly (drops horseshoe, draws gun, sticks it under 
BuGG^s nose). It was, hey? (Pause.) Was it? 

BuGG (wilts). No, I don't reckon it was. 

Grizzly (szvaggers dozvn to table, sits). I reckon we'll' 
liquor on you, Hezekiah Bugg. Call the heathen. 

BuGG. But I ain't got no cash. 

Grizzly (points revolver at him, yells). Call the heathen ! 

BuGG. Heathen, heathen, where are you? 

Grizzly. Louder ! 

Bugg. Louder it is. (Louder.) Heathen, where are 
you? (Bangs on table.) 

(All surround table.) 

Grizzly. Now, I reckon I'm the champeen! Ain't I, 
Bugg? 

Bugg. You be. 

Enter Yow Kee from house L. 

Yow Kee. You callee Yow Kee? 

Bugg. Yes, you yaller-faced chink, I callee Yow Kee. 
Bring the pizen. 

Yow Kee. Allee samee quick. Yes, sir ; me blingee pizen. 
(Exit L.) 

Bugg. I ain't been beat throwin' horseshoes since the big 
blizzard in '89. 

Grizzly. Wa'al, yer beat now. 

Bugg. That was the biggest blizzard ever seen in these 
parts. It was full of lightning, too. Big ball of fire struck 
agin a railroad locomotive and knocked it six miles up in 
the air. Melted it, too, and it dropped back on the track 
and run right inter the round house in a melted stream. 
They had ter pack it in ice so as to freeze it inter shape 
agin. That was in '89. 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 11 

Grizzly. Hezekiah Bugg, I reckon yer the biggest liar 
in the State er Arizony. 

BuGG. It's true, boys ; true as preachin'. We had big 
times in the summer of '89. 

Enter Yow Kee from house with tray containing glasses 
and bottle of liquor. He puts tray on table. 

Yow Kee. All light, me come. Allee same bug-juice. 
Heap good. Make um sing, make um dance. Heap dance. 
(Dances.) All Hght. 

Mrs. Bugg (off stage at rear R.). Hezekiah! {Loudly.) 
Hezekiah Bugg ! 

Bugg {frightened). It's my wife. I gotta go. {Starts 
to L.) 

Mrs. B. {outside). Don't you worry! I'll find him. 

Bugg. Hide me, boys ; hide me ! 

The Cowboys stand in front of him as he crouches at L. 
Mrs. Bugg appears on run at R. zvith broom. 

Mrs. B. Oh, looks like yer havin' a little party. {Comes 
down run to C.) Where's that husband o' mine? 

Grizzly. He hain't hyar. Mis' Bugg ! 

Mrs. B. Don't you lie to me, Grizzly Grimm. {Grabs 
his arm and pushes him to R., exposing Bugg.) Oh, there 
you are! 

Bugg. Yes, honey, here I am. I was just hidin' to 
scare you. 

Mrs. B. I'll scare you! {Takes him by the ear.) You 
come with me ! There's the cow to be milked, and the wood 
to saw, and the saddle to mend, and the 'taters to be pared, 
and the dinner dishes to be washed, and you a settin' down 
hyar doin' nothin'. 

Bugg. Now Petunia — 

Mrs. B. Don't you Petunia me! You old ant-eater. 
(Grizzly and Cowboys laugh loudly. Mrs. B. turns on 
them fiercely.) And the rest of you ain't no better. I've 
a good mind to — {starts toward Grizzly with broom up- 
raised). 

Grizzly {retreats to R.). Help, help! 

Mrs. B. Laugh at me, will you? (Hits him over shouU 



12 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

ders with flat end of the broom.) I'll show ye. {Drives him 
up run at R. and out R.) 

BuGG. Good-night! (Exits L.) 

Yow Kee (at C). Lady allee samee heap much fire and 
brimstone. 

Cowboys (lattgh loudly). 

Mrs. B. (turns on them fiercely). Git out'n my way, y' 
pack of laughin' hyenas. (Charges among the Cowboys, 
striking R. and L. They rush out pell-mell at the different 
entrances.) I'll show ye, I'll show ye! (Comes to Yow 
Kee.) Where's Bugg? 

Yow Kee. Bugee makee gitaway. Allee samee hop, skip, 
jump. Good-bye, Bugg! 

Mrs. B. Where did he go? 

Yow Kee (runs to door L.). He go straight up, allee 
saimee like airship. (Laughs and exits in house at L.)' 

Enter Marguerite Moore dozmi run at R. 

Marguerite Moore. Good afternoon, Mrs. Bugg. 

Mrs. B. (at L. C). Why, honey, is it you? I declare 
you're a sight fer sore eyes. I ain't seen you fer a week. 
Set down and talk a spell. 

Marguerite. Thank you. (Sits at R.) And how have 
you been, Mrs. Bugg? 

Mrs. B. Porely, porely. This here livin' in Arizony 
don't agree with me nohow. I was born and bred in old 
Indianny and I'm plum homesick for the old state. Gal, 
that's God's country. Up thar they don't ever see a cow- 
boy er a Greaser er a Injun from year's end to year's end. 
I certainly do wish I was back in old Indianny. (Seated 
at L.) 

Marguerite. Arizona is wild and rough, Mrs. Bugg, 
but I love it. The dry, bracing air, the mountains and val- 
leys, the wild flowers and ferns are dearer to me than the 
sights of the cities in the East. The men are rough, many 
of them, but some are nature's noblemen, and for clear- 
eyed, true-hearted honesty and courage I'll back the boys 
of old Arizona against the world. 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 13 

Mrs. B. Now you're thinkin' of the cowboy Sheriff, 
Farley Gantt. Ain't you, Marguerite? 

IMarguerite (embarrassed, turns azvay, looks dozvn). 
Why, Mrs. Bugg ! 

Mrs. B. Oh, I guess I've noticed a thing er two and I 
certainly wish you well, honey, fer there ain't a better man 
in Arizony. And I hear he's comin' to town today. 

Marguerite. Yes, I believe he is. 

Mrs. B. Believe he is? I reckon you know he is. And 
it's high time he zvas showing up. That partner of his is 
jest about going to the dogs. The young scallywag, he 
ought to have better sense. 

Marguerite. Paul is only a boy, Mrs. Bugg, with all a 
boy's weakness. 

Mrs. B. I guess all men was boys once on a time, but 
that ain't no sign he's got to go gallyvantin' round with that 
stuck-up city gal, Coralie Blackshear. She and her brother, 
humph, a pretty pair ! I mean to keep my eyes on the both 
of 'em. I believe he's connected with these here cattle 
rustlers we hear so much about. 

Marguerite. Why, Mrs. Bugg! 

Mrs. B. I do. He's been hyar about two months and 
there's been more cattle stole in that time than fer years 
before. And he drinks and gambles, and now young Paul 
Quillian is jest as bad. I can't blame you fer discharging 
him from the Double Z ranch. Pretty paymaster, he was, 
runnin' around with that Coralie Blackshear and spendin' 
his money and drinkin' and gamblin' and losin' what little 
he had got. Humph, I ain't got no patience with any man 
that ever lived. They're all alike. 

Marguerite. Farley will take charge of Paul just as 
soon as he comes back, but I couldn't keep him in my employ 
any longer. 

Mrs. B. It's funny how a big strong man like Farley 
Gantt takes such a shine to that weak young simpleton. 

Marguerite. They are partners, Mrs. Bugg. You know 
they were up in Alaska together. 

Mrs. B. I heerd so. 



14 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

Marguerite. Paul saved Farley's life at the risk of his 
own. 

Mrs. B. Don't seem like he's got strength enough to save 
the life of a full grown Indianny mosquito. 

Marguerite. Farley has never seen the Blackshears. He 
doesn't know that Paul has come under their evil influence. 

Mrs. B. Then the sooner he finds it out the better. This 
here town of Purple Dog ain't no paradise on earth, but 
mark my words, honey, it'll be a heap sight cleaner and 
purer if Farley Gantt does his duty and sends Duke Black- 
shear and his precious sister back to where they come from. 

Enter Young^un on run at R. She runs down to C. 

YouNG^UN. Oh, good morning, Miss Marguerite. Gee 
golly, you sure- are lookin' scrumptious. That's the purtiest 
dress I eyer seen in Purple Dog. How much did it cost? 

Mrs. B. Young'un, Pm surprised. Ain't you got a mite 
of sense? 

YouNG^UN. No'm, I don't reckon I have. 

Mrs. B. Did you git them things I sent you after? 

YouNG''uN. Yes'm, all 'cept the sassafras. Bowser said 
he didn't have no sassafras. 

Mrs. B. Did you git the furniture polish? 

YouNG^UN. Yes'm. He jest got it in from Phoenix. 

Mrs. B. (to Marguerite). Pm aimin' to start house 
cleanin' today. 

Marguerite (rises). You must come out to the ranch 
some afternoon, Mrs. Bugg, and take supper with us. 

Mrs. B. (rises), Vd like to, honey, Pd like to mightily, 
but if you was tied to a husband like my Hezekiah Bugg 
you'd never be able to leave your house fer a minute at a 
time. There jest ain't no tellin' what that man'll do next. 

Marguerite (starts up run). Good-bye. 

Mrs. B. Good-bye, honey. Come and see me. 

Marguerite. I will. Good-bye, Young'un. 

Young'un. Shake a bye-bye, Miss INIarguerite. You 
shore do look pretty today. 

Marguerite. You're a little flatterer. (Laughs and exits 
R. up run.) 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 15 

Young'un. What did she call me? A little flattener? 
I guess I ain't no flattener'n she is. (Sees bottle on table.) 
Oh, golly, Mis' Bugg, lookee here. (Takes up bottle.) 

Mrs. B. (scandali::ed) . You put that right down! Ain't 
you 'shamed of yourself? I never see the beat of you in 
all my born days, not even in old Indianny. Come right 
along home with me now, 'cause goodness knows there's 
enough things to be did to keep us busy till doomsday. 
(Severely.) Put that bottle of liquor down and come home ! 

Young'un. Yes'm, Mis' Bugg, I'm jes' a smellin' it. 

Mrs. B. Smellin' it? I never heerd the like. Put it 
down! 

YouNC'uN. Yes'm, it's done down. Got a funny kind o' 
smell, though. 

Mrs. B. Come along. You'll be wantin' to taste it next. 
(Exit R. up run.) 

YouNC'uN. Yes'm. I wonder what it does taste like. 
(Takes bottle of furniture polish from basket and puts it 
on table.) Furniture polish, you set there! (Puts bottle of 
liquor in basket.) Liquor, you set there! Now when old 
Hezekiah Bugg takes a drink from that bottle of furniture 
polish I'll bet it'll polish him all up inside, and I'll bet he 
needs it. Enter Yow Kee from house. 

Yow Kee. Here, here, what you do with bottle. (Takes 
up bottle of polish.) No goodee for little gals, good for old 
man, good for John Chinaman, yes — but no good for little 
gal. (Puts it back on table.) 

YouNC'uN. I'll bet a cookie that whoever drinks that'll 
think it's good. Say, Yow Kee, why don't you get a hair- 
cut? 

Yow Kee. Go 'long, little gal, go 'long. Heap too 
muchee chin-chin. (Sits at L.) 

Young'un (comes behind him). All right, John, I'm 
agoin'. 

Yow Kee (sleepily). Allee samee too much talk. Yow 
Kee sleepee ! (Yawns.) Workee all night long, no getee 
sleep. (Nods as if going to sleep.) Cowboys see me, shootee 
me heap sky-high. All light. (Sleeps.) 



16 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

Young'un (ties his queue to back of chair). All light, 
John. Now you habee heap much fun. (Takes slap stick 
from under table, hits him across knee zvith it, yelling at 
the same time.) Whoopee! Whoopee! (Runs up run and 
exits R.) 

Yow Kee (jumps up zvith a yell, starts after her, his 
queue drags the chair). Ow, ow ! Somebody pullee my 
hair. (Unties queue.) Allee time makee fun poor Yow 
Kee. (Crying.) Shootee gun, pullee hair, give him kickee 
in slats ! Allee time makee fun poor Chinee. 

BuGG sticks his head out of door L. 

BuGG. Coast clear, Yow Kee? 

Yow Kee. Allee samee clear. Old Lady Bugg gone. 

Enter Bugg from house. He comes to table. 

BuGG. That was a narrow escape. I thought she was 
comin' in after me sure. Go and tell the boys that she's 
gone. (Yow Kee goes to rear and motions to L. and R.) 
Enter Cowboys. 

Yow Kee. Old Lady Bugg allee samee gone. 

Bugg. Set down, boys. I want ye to understand my 
position. I ain't a skeerd of the old lady, only I don't like 
to make her nervous. 

Yow Kee (standing at L.). Mister Bugg allee samee 
heap big coward. 

Bugg. What's that? Me a coward? Me, Hezekiah Bugg, 
called a coward? ^^'hy, boys, that's preposterous. In '89 
I was called a hero. Yes, sir, down in Cuby in '89 I had 
a horse shot out from under me four times, and Roosyfelt 
himself rid up to me and says, "Corporal Bugg, I've seen 
fighters in my time, fighters of the most rip-rarin', hair- 
raisin' type, but fer real dog-goned hard fightin' you're the 
fightinest fighter I ever see lit." That was in '89. 

Enter Grizzly from R. dozvn run. 
Grizzly. Old Hezekiah is tellin' some more lies about 
'89, I reckon. Accordin' to him the hull world's history 
happened in '89, and he was the hero of it all. Say, you 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 17 

ain't none of you seen my dog, have you? I lost him this 
morning. 

Yow Kee. Me no see him. Maybe if I do him allee 
samee make good chop suey. 

BuGG. Speakin' of dogs, I used to have a Irish setter in 
'89 named Fido. That dog was wuth six or seven hundred 
dollars, if he was wuth a cent. And hunt! All I had to 
to do was to unloose him in the mornin', and afore night 
he'd be back draggin' a string of fifteen er twenty quail 
behind him. And once in a while seven er eight rabbits er 
a wild turkey. That was in '89. 

Yow Kee. Allee time '89. 

Grizzly (at R.). They tell me Farley Gantt's comin' ter 
town today. 

BuGG (rises). He is? Then I wanter ride up the road 
and meet him. I tell yer men, Farley Gantt's the best cow- 
boy and the best Sheriff and the best horseman in the State 
o' Arizony. I used to be just like him myself in '89. 

Grizzly. Yes, jest about sech a big bag o' wind as Far- 
ley Gantt is. 

BuGG. You dassent say that to his face. Grizzly Grimm. 

Grizzly. I dassent, hey? Well, you let Farley Gantt git 
gay with me, er with my boss, ]\Ir. Blackshear, and there's 
goin' ter be a missin' cowboy Sheriff around this corral, 
believe me ! 

BuGG. Come on, boys. Let's jump on the bosses and hit 
the trail towards Phoenix. Maybe we'll be meetin' him. 
(Exit up R. follozved by Cowboys giving characteristic yell 
of Whoop-eee!) 

Grizzly. Chink, you seen anything of my boss, Mr. 
Blackshear, this morning? 

Yow Kee. Him allee samee play poker there. (Points 
to L.) Win all the money from boy, Paul Quillian. Him 
allee samee big gambler crook. 

Grizzly (goes after him). What's that? 

Yow Kee (running around table). I say him allee samee 
likee good cook. (Looks L.) Here he comes now. 

Enter Duke Blackshear from house L. He takes L. C. 



18 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

Duke Blackshear. Grizzly, who is this Farley Gantt I 
hear so much talk about ? That Quillian kid can't talk about 
anything else. He thinks he's a greater man than the presi- 
dent of the United States. 

Grizzly. He's a cowboy. The Injuns call him the White 
Lion. He used to be the foreman of the Crooked Circle 
Ranch, but the boys elected him Sheriff at the last election. 

Duke. Where is he? I haven't seen him yet. 

Grizzly. He's been down in the plains country for three 
months. 

Duke (starts). Roundin' up the rustlers, eh? 

Grizzly. Some day I'm going to get him, if I got to 
shoot him in the back. He's only been Sheriff fer six 
months and he's had me in the cooler twice already. 

Duke. Well, why don't you plug him? 

Grizzly. I got a score to settle with Mr. Farley Gantt 
and jest as soon as I git a good chance, well he won't round 
up no more rustlers. 

Duke. Why not do it today? The town is full of cow- 
boys from the different outfits. Tonight they'll be half 
drunk and that'll be our chance. Til meet this Mr. Farley 
Gantt, pick a quarrel with him, get the drop on him, and 
shoot him in his tracks. 

Big Elk has entered unobserved during this speech, com- 
ing dozvn the run at R. At close of the speech he confronts 
Duke at C. 

Big Elk {zvith arms folded majestically, head held 
high). Big Elk says no! 

Duke {recoils to L., hand on revolver). What! 

Big Elk. Navajo chief says you no kill White Lion. • 

Duke. So you've been eavesdropping, have you? Well, 
yoti heard what I said, and what I said — I'll do. Who's 
going to stop me? 

Big Elk. Me! I stop you. White Lion my friend. 
For him I would kill. 

Grizzly {at R.). Kill, hey? You're pretty thick with 
him, ain't you? 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 19 

Big Elk {turns to him). White Lion my friend, White 
Lion my brother. 

Grizzly. And yet you allow him to make a plaything 
of your daughter. 

Big Elk. Navajo chief wastes no words with a liar. 

Grizzly. It ain't a lie, it's the truth. Everybody knows 
it but you. She follows him everywhere, on the range, to 
the ranches, even into town. 

Big Elk. Crooked tongue, you lie. (Strikes him across 
face zvith palm. Grizzly drazvs revolver, Big Elk forces 
his arm up, they glare at each other, Grizzly drops revolver 
to -floor.) 

Duke {at L.). Stop, you Navajo dog. I'll shoot you 
where you stand. {Points revolver at Big Elk. Yow Kee 
crawls under the table.) 

Big Elk {folds arms and faces him). A coyote never 
shoots in face. Always shoots in back. 

Duke {furiously). So? I'll show you! I'll kill you. 
Who'll prevent it? 

Enter Farley Gantt, runs down run from R. Covers 
Duke with rifle. 

Farley Gantt. I will ! Drop it, stranger, drop it ! 
(Duke lowers arm.) If there's any shootin' to be did 
around hyar, I reckon the Sheriff is entitled to the first 
shot. Everybody put up your shootin' iron. You hyar 
me? Put 'em up. (Bugg comes dozvn run.) 

Yow Kee. Allee safe now. Sheriff's come. {Crazvls 
from tinder table, stands at L. near door of house.) 

Duke {at L. C). That Injun hit Grizzly in the face. 

Farley {at C). I reckon Grizzly Grimm's big enough 
to fight his own battles. 

Big Elk {at R. C). Grizzly Grimm speak with crooked 
tongue. He lied. He spoke of you, White Lion. He say 
you make plaything of my daughter, Fawn Afraid. 

Farley {furiously). What! {Strides to Grizzly at R.) 
Did you say that, you cur? 

Griz^zly. I only said what every one else says. I told 



20 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

him she followed you all around the range. That's true, 
ain't it? 

Farley. True? No, it's the blackest lie that ever passed 
your lips. {Strikes him in face with gauntlet.) There! 
I reckon you know what that means. At any time, at any 
spot, at any place! (Duke steals up behind Farley and 
is about to stab him in the back.) 

Big Elk (catches Duke's hand). No! Big Elk say no. 

BuGG (on run, covers Duke zvith rifle). Hold on thar, 
Mr. Gambler, you leave 'em alone. They're man to man 
and the cowboy Sheriff kin lick him inter fits. Leave 'em 
alone and let 'em fight. I ain't seen a good fight since '89. 
Farley kin lick him. 

Yow Kee (who has sneaked back of Grizzly). And if 
he no lickee, I can! (Kicks Grizzly and runs out at R.) 

Farley. Grizzly Grimm, I allers thought you was a 
sneakin' kind of a cur, and now I'm sure of it. Now you 
listen here, if you ever say one word agin little Fawn 
Afraid, FU kill y', like I would a rattler in the dust. 
There's yer gun (kicks his revolver tozvard him), and 
there's the road. (Points to R.) Now, you hit the trail! 
Sabe? Hit the trail! 

Grizzly (picks up revolver). You ain't heerd the last 
of this yet, Mr. Farley Gantt. (Slinks out at R.) 

Duke (at L. C). Ah, quite a little romantic proceed- 
ing. Is this the way you generally enforce the law down 
here in Arizona, Mr. Sheriff? 

Farley (confronts him). 1 dunno who you are, 
stranger, and I don't much keer, but I want y' to know 
that I don't like the tone o' yer voice. If you've got any- 
thing to say to me, I'm right yere on the spot and I reckon 
now's jest the time fer you to say it ! 

Duke. Oh, I've no quarrel with you. (Turns and zvalks 
to door L.) Probably we shall meet again, my pugilistic 
friend. I was only a little surprised at your rather crude 
method of enforcing the law, that's all. Good morning. 
(Laughs and exits in house at L.) 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 21 

BuGG (coming down R.). Go on and git him, Farley, 
give him Hail Columbia, Happy Land. 

Farley (at L. C). Who is he, Hezekiah? 

BuGG. Feller by the name of Blackshear. He and his 
sister have been here a couple of months and there ain't 
a straight hair in their heads. Crooked clean through. In 
fact they're jes' about the worst Fve seen since '89. 

Big Elk (comes to R. C). Big Elk know Grizzly tell 
lies about White Lion and Fawn Afraid. (Extends hand 
to Farley.) White Lion heap good friend to Big Elk, 
heap good friend to little Fawn Afraid. White Lion, save 
her life. Navajo chief never forgets. Some day Big Elk 
pay back White Lion. Until then Navajo chief and White 
Lion heap good friends. (Exit up run and off R.) 

Farley (sits at L.). Where's the boy, Hezekiah? 

BuGG (seated R., smoking corn-cob pipe). Boy? What 
boy? 

Farley. Paul Quillian, my partner Paul. 

BuGG. I dunno. Say, you've heerd the news about him, 
ain't y'. Sheriff? 

Farley. I heard he'd been discharged from the ranch. 
Buck Pawner told me. Said he'd been hittin' the pace 
fer the last two months. I don't understand it at all. That 
ain't like my partner. Fm right worried about him, Bugg. 

BuGG. I reckon it's enough to make you worry. He 
certainly has chang^. Why, you wouldn't know him fer 
the same bright-eyed young feller you left here three 
months ago. It's all the fault of them Blackshears. 

Farley. Ah, ha ! The man who thought I was neglectin' 
my duty, hey? 

Bugg. Yep, he's the one. He's got the boy right under 
his thumb. Paul used to be a right good boy, but now 
he's a reg'lar drunkard. Don't hardly draw a sober 
breath. 

Farley. I orter have taken him along with me. But 
it ain't too late yet. I know him and he knows me and 
in spite of Blackshear and his sister, in spite of the boy 



22 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

himself, in spite of all the world, I'll save my partner. 
(Rises.) 

BuGG. You think a heap of him, don't y'. Sheriff? 

Farley. They ain't nothin' on earth I wouldn't do fer 
Paul Quillian. Why, he saved my life. 

BuGG. He did? 

Farley (takes C). It was when wo \vas up in Alaska 
together. Eight years ago — the gold fever. There was 
nine of us in the party. We started out going straight 
northwest from Canada City. The third day out our 
Injun guide took the fever and died. Do you understand 
what that meant to us? We was all alone, eight men from 
the States, alone, lost in the wilds of Alaska. 

BuGG. Lost? 

Farley (plaintive music). Lost — on the Yukon plains 
— a hundred miles from a human being. It was freezing 
cold and our supply of food was low. Two other men 
took the fever. (Slight pause, Farley shakes his head and 
continues sadly.) We buried them in the frozen snow. It 
was awful. We trudged on hour after hour, hour after 
hour, going God knows where. We were no longer men, 
we were wolves, wolves fighting for our lives. It was a 
race with death. Then (pause, speak zvith suppressed 
emotion) my — turn — came! I caught the fever. I remem- 
ber where I fell. The others (pause) went on and left me. 

BuGG. The brutes! 

Farley. Don't blame 'em, it was a fight for existence. 
They couldn't stop fer me, if they had they'd a caught 
the fever. I think I was dying. I lay there on my back 
looking up at the gray sky and the snow mountains for 
hours, burning with fever — freezing. For hours — miles 
away from a human being. Suddenly there was a dark 
blur above me in the sky. Then another and another. 
Eagles. The awful buzzard eagle of the great northwest. 
One brushed against my body — then two flew at my face — 
I was alone — helpless — dying! Suddenly I heard the music 
of a rifle shot. The birds flew away wounded. Someone 
was standing by me fighting them off. I was saved. 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 23 

BuGG. It was the boy? 

Farley. It was Paul Quillian. Walked back twelve 
miles to save me er to die with me. We were all alone 
that night. He built a fire and fought off death inch by 
inch. The next day a party of scouts found us, starving, 
bleeding, fever-stricken, but together. They built a camp 
there and for a week Paul was down with the fever. I 
sat by his bed one night and thought the whole thing out. 
If he'd a died he'd a given up his hfe fer me, but if he 
lived (pause) "Partners fer hfe," says I. I thought he 
was asleep, but he heard me. He kinder reached out and 
got ahold of my hand. "Partners," says he. "Fer life," 
says I. (End music.) 

BuGG. Well, if ever there was a boy needed a partner, 
he needs one now. This gal Coralie Blackshear's no good 
and the boy is crazy about her. 

Farley. I reckon I can straighten it out. 

BuGG. You certainly are good to him. Sheriff, but he's 
powerfully sweet on that gal. (Rises.) 

Farley. Maybe it'll be a tougher job than I think, but 
(softly) he's my partner. (With determination.) I'll save 
him in spite of them. 

BuGG (shakes hands zvith him). Farley Gantt, you're 
pure gold clean through. You remind me of a man I used 
to know over in Australia in '89. Me and him was part- 
ners. I saved his life about seventy times in flood and 
fire, but he got killed at last. Fell overboard one night 
and a shark bit him clean in two afore I could say scat. 
That was in '89. 

Enter Mrs. Bugg dozvn run. 

Mrs. B. Hezekiah! 

Bugg. Yes, little honeysuckle? 

Mrs. B. Who you talkin' to? (Turns.) Well, if it ain't 
Farley Gantt? Fer the land o' love! I heard you was 
comin' today, but didn't look fer you so soon. (Shakes 
hands zvith him.) You come right up to the ranch house 
and git a bite to eat. I ain't got much, but I reckon you 



24 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

could relish some old Indianny buckwheat cakes and sau- 
sage, couldn't you? 

Farley. Could I ? I haven't had a square meal since 
I saw you last, and I'm hollow clean down to my boots. 

Mrs. B. Well, I reckon Petunia Bugg kin give you a 
good square meal. (Starts up run.) You come along, Heze- 
kiah. I want you to wait on the table. (Exits R.) 

Farley. Come on, Hezekiah, maybe if you're a real 
good waiter, I'll leave a pancake for you. (Laughs and 
exits up run and ojf R.) 

Bugg. Wait on table, me ! I guess not. If she had her 
way she'd make a reg'lar women folks out'n me. (On 
run.) 

Enter Yow Kee from house. He crosses to table and 
hides the bottle in his blouse during preceding speech. 

Bugg. Hello. 

Yow Kee (assumes look of innocence). Hello. 

Bugg (sits R. of table). You remind me of a China- 
man I used to know over in Italy in '89, only he had a 
longer pig-tail 'n you. It was so long he used to use it fer 
a clothes, line to hang his washin' on. But a windstorm 
come up one day and wrapped it around his throat and 
it choked him to death. That was in '89. (Reaches hand 
out for bottle, looks all around table for it, then on floor, 
looks at Yow Kee at L., zvho stands demurely facing front. 
Bugg looks at him, Yow Kee ttirns head slozvly tozvard 
Bugg, looking out of the corner of his eye. He catches 
Bugg's eye and suddenly straightens out and resumes de- 
mure air — same business repeated two or three times.) 
There was a bottle on the top of that table a few minutes 
ago, my Celestial friend. 

Yow Kee. Bottlee gone. 

Bugg. I reckon it ain't gone very far. It couldn't walk 
'cause it didn't have no legs. 

Yow Kee. Bottlee no can walkee, no gotee legs. 

Bugg. Heathen, hand over that bottle ! 

Yow Kee (looks on floor, looks upzvard and in all absurd 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 25 

places). No can see. {Looks up.) Bottlee gone sky high. 
No can see. 

BuGG {goes to him at L.). Certain you can't see it up 
there in the sky. 

Yow Kee {looking up, Bugg takes his nose zvith L. hand, 
pulls his head dozvn and with R. hand feels for the bottle, 
Yow Kee dances and jumps as if being tickled). Oh, you 
ticklee, you ticklee. No makee tickle, no makee tickle. 

Bugg. Here it is. {Produces bottle. Yow Kee looks 
at it longingly, rubs stomach and gives vent to a half zvhine, 
half sigh.) 

Yow Kee. Yessir, it lookee velly much like bottlee. 

Bugg. You said you couldn't see it. 

Yow Kee. Under my vest no can see. 

Mrs. Bugg appears on run. 

Bugg {puts bottle to lips). I'll jest try it. 

Mrs. B. Hezekiah! 

Bugg {chokes). Oh, I'm pizened, I'm pizened. {Puts 
bottle on table, runs up run R.) Oh, Petunia, I'm pizened. 
{Howls and runs out R.) 

Mrs. B. And it serves you right, you old rhinoceros. 
{Exit R.) 

Yow Kee {sticks finger in bottle). Whisky spoil. No 
gotee cork. {Licks finger.) Tastee velly funny. {Takes 
long drink from bottle, gives a loud yell and puts bottle 
dozvn.) Oh, oh! Help, help! 

Enter Young'un from R., down run. 

Young'un. What's the matter, chink? 

Yow Kee. Poison. Help, help ! Me takee drinkee out 
of bottlee. Oh, oh! {Groans.) 

Young'un. By golly, the chink's pizened. He's drunk 
the furniture polish. {Rushes into house at L.) 

Yow Kee {doubles up on floor). Oh, oh! {Groans.) 

Enter Young'un from L. zvith spoon and seidlitz pozvder 
in tzvo papers. 

Young'un {runs to Yow Kee on floor at C.). Here's 
the medicine, chink. Here's the seidlitz powder. 



26 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

Yow Kee (groans). Oh, oh! Medicine! How you 
takee medicine? 

Young'un. I dunno how you take it. There's two of 
'em. Maybe I'd better mix 'em up. 

Yow Kee. No, no. Give me one. (He sivallows con- 
tents of first package.) AUee Hght, feelee heap much bet- 
ter. (He szvallozvs the other ^ then takes a drink of zvater. 
He begins to froth at the mouth, shrieks and rolls over 
and over.) Helpee, helpee ! 

Young'un. He's gotta fit, the chink's got a fit! He's 
got the hydra-dog-bite-me ! Help, help! (Rushes out at R.) 

Yow Kee (rises and rushes after her). Helpee, helpee, 
allee samee fizze like a fire-cracker. (Rushes out at R.) 

Plaintive music. Enter from house at L. Paul Quil- 
LiAN. He comes in slozvly, tzvisting his cap in Jiis hands, 
his head hung lozv. He comes to table and slouches in a 
chair at R. of table. Take plenty of time for this entrance. 
He rests his head on his arm on table. Enter Farley 
from R. backing dozvn the run and speaking to someone 
off stage. 

Farley. Til be back as soon as Fve found my partner. 

(At the sound of his voice Paul rises, but supports him- 
self on chair.) 

Paul Quillian. Farley! (Say this zvhen the tzvo men 
are close together.) 

Farley. Paul, boy, is it you? (Shake hands heartily.) 

Paul (turns azvay tozvard L., speaks sadly). I reckon 
it's what's left of me. 

Farley (puts both hands on Paul's shoulders). . Turn 
round yere and let me look at you. You look like the 
ghost of the lad I left here three months ago. (End 
music.) 

Paul (embarrassed). I — er — what are you doing back 
so soon, Farley? You're two days ahead of time. 

Farley. Well, I heard you was in trouble. 

Paul. Trouble? (Laughs bitterly.) That's the right 
word. It's all been trouble. I'm sick of this place. I'll 
be glad when I can get away. 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 27 

Farley. You ain't thinkin' about leavin' Purple Dog, 
are y'? Why, boy, I'm going to buy out Doolittle's Two 
Star ranch next month and you're to be my range boss. 

Paul. It's too late, Farley. Fm not in any condition 
to work on the range. Haven't you heard of what Fve 
been doing? (Crosses to L.) 

Farley (sits on table zvitJi foot on chair). Yes, I heard 
you've been sowing a crop o' wild oats, lad, but I reckon 
that's all over now Fve come back. A couple of weeks 
on the range will make a new man of you. 

Paul. You're too good to me. I don't deserve it. I 
don't, I don't. (Sits at L. of table, buries face in arms 
and sobs.) 

Farley (crosses back of table to him). There, there, 
boy, don't take on thataway. It don't do no good. 

Paul. I can't stay here in Arizona any longer. Fm 
going away. I want to see new places, new faces. Fm 
going to Frisco. 

Farley. Frisco? What you goin' to do there? 

Paul. Oh, Fve got friends. Blackshear's goin' to get 
me a place. 

Farley. Blackshear, eh? So you're goin' to Frisco with 
him? 

Paul. I'm going with his sister. Farley, Fm going 
to marry her. We're going tonight. 

Farley. Don't you do it, Paul, boy ! You stay here. 
Stick it out, pard. Take a fresh start, deal yourself a new 
hand and we'll run the Two Star ranch together. 

Paul. I can't stay. She wants me to come with her 
and Fve got to go. Fve got to. I love her, Farley, I love 
her better than life, better than honor. 

Farley (dozvn L. of Paul). I hope she is worthy of a 
good man's love. 

Paul (rising quickly, hotly). What do you mean by 
that ? 

Farley. I mean that you're only a boy. This man Duke 
Blackshear, is one of the underworld, a sport, a gambler, 
a criminal. His sister, if she is his sister — 



28 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

Paul (grabs him). Stop, Farley Gantt. I won't allow 
you to say one word agin her. 

Farley (astonished). Paul! (Pronounced pause, Paul 
slowly drops his arms from Farley.) Partner! (Crosses 
sadly to R.) 

Paul (at C). Farley! (Pause.) Vm sorry. I didn't 
know what I was doing. I ain't been myself lately. Pm 
sorry. Enter Duke from house at L. 

Duke (coming down L.). We've been waiting for you, 
Quillian. You've been gone a long time. 

Farley. Duke Blackshear ! 

Duke. Ah, my pugiHstic friend? Well, Mr. Cowboy 
Sheriff, I wasn't aware that you knew me. 

Farley (crosses to L. and confronts him). Know you? 
Yes, I know you, Duke Blackshear, and I know your 
hang-out in Frisco. I know you're a gambler, a bank rob- 
ber, a jail bird ! 

Duke (hand on revolver). It's a lie. 

Farley (coolly). Oh, no it ain't, it's the truth. Now 
don't you try to draw that gun, er something's liable to 
happen to you. Paul, boy, is this the man you was goin' 
away with? 

Enter Coralie Blackshear from R. 

Paul (meeting her at R. C). Coralie! 

Farley (at L. C). Is this the lady? 

Paul (proudly). This is my future wife. 

Farley (sarcastically) . I think we've met before at the 
Duke's gambling house in Frisco, where there wasn't any 
need of an introduction. (Soft music.) Boy, don't do this 
thing. Can't you see their game? It's the old, old story 
of the crafty spider and the poor little fly. Stay here with 
me, here in old Arizona. I'll make you the boss of my 
new ranch. Make a fresh start, I'll stand by y', I'll never go 
back on my partner. 

Coralie Blackshear (takes Paul's arm). Paul, come 
with me. 

Paul, Farley, Pve made up my mind. I'm an ungrate- 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 29 

ful dog after all you've done for me, but I must do as 
my heart says. I'm off. Good-bye. 

Farley (slozvly, with an effort). Then you're really 
gomg? 

Paul. Good-bye. (Exits R. with Coralie and Duke, 
who has crossed to rear R. during the preceding scene.) 

Farley (looking after them, speaks slowly with sup- 
pressed emotion). The old, old story of the spider and 
the fly. (Straightens up and speaks with determination.) 
But it ain't the end. He's my partner, and I'll watch over 
him. I'll watch over him. 

(Music swells as the curtain falls slowly.) 
Curtain. 



Act IL 



Same scene as Act I. Lights on full throughout the act. 
Lively music takes up the curtain. The bottle of furniture 
polish has been removed from table. Small bench stands 
down R. with tub and washboard on it. Bugg is discov- 
ered at rise of the curtain zvashing clothes down R. The 
garments consist of red flannel underclothing, shirts, a 
child's underclothes, socks, etc. He holds the articles in 
view of the audience as he zvashes. Mrs. Bugg stands at 
C. facing him, her arms on her hips. 

Mrs. B. Ain't you nearly through, Bugg? 

Bugg. Yes, pettie, I'm jest about through. It's awful 
hard work, though. And it ain't dignified fer a man of my 
standin' in the community to be here washing under- 
garments and sich. 

Mrs. B. Ain't dignified, hey? I suppose you'd rather 
be loafing around the corral. No, sir ! I feed you and I 
feed you. good. You got a nice house and a nice wife 
who supports you in idleness. And now when I ask you 
to help me a httle you say it ain't dignified. 

Bugg. This reminds me of the days of '89 when I was 
over in the Philippines. I invented a system fer washing, 



30 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

ironing and delivering clothes. It was a great system. 
I'd a made a million dollars out of it but my washwoman 
got jealous and stole my blue prints and I went broke. 
That was in '89. 

Mrs. B. Don't you say '89 to me again. I'll bet you was 
in jail in '89. 

BuGG. Now, Petunia, that ain't no way fer you to talk 
to yer lawfully wedded husband who promised to love, 
honor and obey you until death do us part. (Wrings out 
the last garment.) There, I reckon the washing is done. 

Mrs. B. (takes the clothes). You bring the tub and the 
wringer. I ain't goin' to leave it here to get stole. And 
hurry up, it's nearly four o'clock. (Exits up run and off R.) 

BuGG (struggling zvith tub). I ain't done so much work 
since I managed the street-car strike in Des Moines, loway, 
in the fall of '89. Wait fer me, Petunia, and gimme a hand 
with this yere tub. (Exits up run and off R., leaving tub 
down R.) 

Enter Paul from house at L. He slouches in and sits 
at the table. He buries his face in arms on table. 

Young'un (heard off K.). Here, chick, chick, chick! 
(Imitating hen.) Chick, chick, chickee ! (Appears on 
run.) I wonder what's become of my chick, chick, chickee! 
(Runs dozvn C .) . She ain't yere. (Looks all around stage, 
gets dozvn on hands and knees, crazi'ls under table, sticks 
her head out and sees Paul.) Hello, mister. 

Paul (looks up but cant see her). Hello, where are 
you? 

YouNG^UN (rolls out from under table, sits on floor). 
Here I am, big as life and twicet as handsome. 

Paul. How did you get under there? 

Young'un. Jest dropped out'n a airship. 

Paul. But where did you come from? 

YouNG^UN. The poor-house. 

Paul. The poor-house ? You poor little kid ! 

YouNG^UN. I'm Young'un. That's what everybody calls 
me. I been workin' today for Mis' Bugg, but I gotta go 
back to the poor-house now, and I've lost my Jupiter. 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 31 

Favl (amused). Lost your what ? 

Young'un. Jupiter. She's my Httle gray speckled hen. 
And jest as sensible as folks is. You ain't saw nothin' of 
him, have you? 

Paul. No, I don't think so. 

Young'un. Jupiter don't git much to eat up to the poor- 
house, so sometimes he takes it inter his head to come down 
to the ranch-house to git a real good meal. 

Paul. Well, you'd better keep Jupiter away from the 
hotel. If Yow Kee catches sight of Jupiter we'll have 
chicken soup for dinner. And it's good-bye, Jupiter. 

Young'un. I know it. That's what I'm huntin' him fer. 
Jupiter is too good a friend of mine to be made inter soup. 
I ain't got very many friends, and Jupiter is one of my 
very bestest ones. 

Paul. You poor little kid ! 

YouNG''uN {rising). Say, mister, are you a lord? 

Paul. Not so that you can notice it. Why ? 

Young'un. 'Cause I saw a book oncet and it had a 
picture of a lord in it, and he looked jest like you. I bet 
you're a king, anyhow. 

Paul. I'm not even a deuce. I'm down and out. 

Young'un. Down and out? You? Say, mister, you're 
kiddin' me, ain't you? 

Paul. Not at all. I've come to the end of my rope, 
that's all. 

Young'un. Pull the string! That ain't no way to talk, 
a great big man like you. What would you do if you. was 
me? No father, no mother, no kin-folks, nobody that 
cares whether I'm livin' er dead. No nothin'. Only the 
poor-house. And we have bean soup three times a day 
at the poor-house. Honest, mister, I jest hate beans and 
whenever I see any growin' in a garden, I jist wanter 
yank 'em all up by the roots. And work, gee! That's all 
we have to do up thar. Work from sunup to sundown 
and then only git beans. I work on the range and I kin 
do more work in a day than any man on the place. And 
I'm only sixteen. 

Paul. Why don't you run away? 



32 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

Young'un. Ain't got no place to run to. I thought 
maybe somebody down here wanted a hired girl regular, 
but when they hear I'm from the poor-house it's all off. 

Paul. Here's a quarter for you. 

YouNG^UN. Fer me? 

Paul. Yes, it's pay for the lesson you've taught me. 

YouNG^UN. I ain't taught you nothin'. Why, I don't 
know nothin'. 

Paul. Yes, you do. You've shown me that some folks 
are worse off than I am. You've shown me the right way, 
little girl, and I'm going to take it. 

Young'un {slaps him on the shoulder). That's the way 
to talk. A great big man like you kin go out and work 
and make a million dollars in a month. Why, if I was you 
I wouldn't be afraid of nothin'. 

Paul {rises). You w^ouldn't? 

Young'un. I should say not. I'd jest buckle down and 
win, by heck ! 

Paul. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to 
buckle down and win ! 

Young'un. By heck! {Grasps his hand.) 

Paul. By heck! {Shakes hands with her and crosses 
to run at R.) 

YouNG^UN. Much obliged fer the two bits. 

Paul. I'd give you more if I had it. 

YouNG^UN. You'll git it. You ain't the kind of a man 
to set down and holler quit. You're going in the fight 
to win, ain't you? 

Paul. You bet I am. And I'll never forget you. {Up 
run.) 

YouNG^UN {smiles bashfully). I won't forget you, 
neither. 

Paul. You're the bravest little kid I ever saw. {Exit R.) 

YouNG''uN. Ain't he just grand? Gee, I wisht he was 
my beau. He's the finest feller I ever saw. I'll bet he's 
a king all right, and don't know it. 

Enter Grizzly and Duke from L. 

Grizzly {coming C, to Young'un). What are you doin' 
down vere? 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 33 

Young'un (at C). Mindin' my own business. (Sits R. 
of fable.) 

Grizzly. What brought you here? 

Young'un (holds up her tzvo feet). Them. 

Grizzly. None of yer sass. Come on over yere, 
Young'un, and see what I got fer y'. 

Young'un. What is it? (Takes a slide toward him at 
L.) 

Grizzly. A dime to git a hair ribbon. 

Young'un (takes another slide). Let's see. 

Grizzly (grabbing her arm). You gotta gimme a kiss 
first. (Pttlls her tozvard him.) 

Young'un (slaps him smartly in the face). There's yer 
kiss. 

Grizzly (starts tozvard her). What, you poor-house 
brat, I'll— 

Young'un (zvith her hand under her apron). Back! 
I've got a little derringer here in my pocket and it's pinted 
right at ye, Mr. Grizzly Grimm. Git back ! Throw up yer 
hands. (He does so and backs to L.) And you, too, Mr. 
Tenderfoot! (Duke throzvs up his hands; she backs them 
to door L.) My finger's right on it and if you make a move, 
either of y', I'll blow a hole clean through you. A big hole, 
too. So big a wild steer could jump through it. Back, 
back, I say! (She forces them out at L. through door, then 
crosses to C, laughs loudly and ptdls fan from \inder apron 
and fans herself zvith it.) Two of the worst men in 
Arizony licked by a poor-house kid and a paper fan. Hurrah 
fer the Irish! (Sits L. C. and laughs.) 

Enter from R. dozvn R. Big Elk and Fawn Afraid. Big 
Elk stands at rear while Fawn Afraid comes to Young^uN 
and touches her on shoidder. 

Fawn Afraid. Pale-face girl! 

Young'un (gives a scream and falls on her knees, her 
apron over her head). Oh, Mr. Grizzly, don't shoot, don't 
shoot ! I didn't mean nothin', I was only in fun. 

Fawn. Him no Grizzly. Him my father. Big Elk, 
Navajo chief. Me, Fawn Afraid. 



34 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

Young'un. Fawn Afraid? Is it you? Oh, I thought 
I was killed entirely by that old Grizzly Grimm. (Rises 
and shakes hands with Fawn.) How! 

Fawn. How! 

YouNG^UN. I thought you was up on the reservation. 

Fawn. No. Me come here. See White Lion. 

Young'un. You mean the Sheriff? 

Fawn. Yes, pale-face name Farley Gantt. Navajo name 
White Lion. He is my White Lion. Fawn's W^hite Lion. 

Young^un. It's a good name fer him all right, all right. 
He's the bravest man in Arizony. 

Fawn. Yes. Heap, heap brave ! White Lion save 
Fawn's life. 

Young'un. He did? Farley Gantt saved your life? 
How? 

Fawn. Many moons back snow on ground deep. Fawn 
ride pony on range. Ride many, many miles. Norther come 
quick. Wind heap blow. Much ice and much snow come 
quick. Fawn's pony fall in snow. Fawn try to find trail, 
but no can find. Night come. Pony almost dead. All 
covered over snow and ice. Fawn freeze — so cold, so cold. 
Then he come — the White Lion — Fawn's White Lion. He 
take Fawn on pony and ride quick — ride like blue streak 
lightning to medicine man. Fawn was saved. White Lion 
save Fawn's life. 

Big Elk (comes dozvn L.). Where is White Lion? 

Young'un. He's up at the ranch-house. This is pay- 
day today and the town is full of cowboys. 

Big Elk. Little Fawn come. We go to ranch-house. 

Fawn. Yes. Fawn wants to see White Lion. 

Big Elk. Me draw pay for Navajo braves, then hurry 
back to tepee. (Starts itp run at R.) 

Fawn. Fawn Afraid like pale-face girl. (Kisses 
Young''un''s hand and hurries up run after her father. They 
exeunt at R.) 

Young'un. She's a nice little Injun all right, all right. 
I reckon I'd ruther be a Injun and live in a wigwam with 
a daddy and a squaw and fifteen er twenty little papooses 
fer brothers and sisters than just be me livin' alone, the 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 35 

only kid in the poor-house. Golly, I clean done forgot all 
about my little Jupiter. (Runs around stage calling.) 
Chick, chick, chickee ! {Runs out at R.) 
Enter Yow Kee from house at L. carrying small hen. 

Yow Kee. Me findee little chickee hen. Makee into 
cb^ickee chop suey heap pretty soon. All right. 

^Enter Young^un from R. calling her chicken. Yow Kee 
hiaes chicken under his blouse and assumes an innocent look. 

YouNC'uN. Yow Kee, you heathen Chinee, where's my 
Jupiter? 

Yow Kee (looks up). No can see. No can see. 

Young'un. I heard him callin' his maw and I know 
you've got him. Listen, hear him! (Comes close to Yow 
Kee and listens, her ear close to his stomach.) I hear him. 
You et him ! You et him alive ! And he's cackling inside 
of you. Oh, you heathen Chinee ! You et my Jupiter. 

A^ow Kee. No, no. Me no eatee Jupitee. 

YouNG^UN. He's cackhn'. I hear him. I hope he kills 
you. I hope he lays an Qgg and chokes you. 

Yow Kee (produces hen). Allee samee play a joke on 
little gal. 

Young'un (grabs hen). Oh, you poor little Jupiter, 
come to muzzer. Did you go and get et up by naughty 
Chinamans? Poor little Jupiter. 

Yow Kee (tries to pet chicken). Poor lilee Jupitee! 

A^oung'un (angrily). You let him alone. Pve got a 
notion to pull your pig-tail out for taking my Jupiter. 
(Grabs his pig-tail.) 

Yow Kee (screams with pain). Help, help. (Rushes out 
at L., follozvcd by Young'un.) 

E7iter from R. Farley and INIarguerite. They come 
dozvn the run. 

Farley. Miss Marguerite, I think if you'll take the boy 
back as your paymaster you won't have any more trouble 
with him. 

Marguerite. But, Farley, he is so weak — 

Farley. I know Paul's only a boy, he don't hardly know 
his own mind. It was jest this morning that he told me 



36 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

he'd decided to go to Frisco and now half an hour ago 
he comes to see if I'd ask you to give him back his place 
on the ranch. 

Marguerite. Quillian has always been a good boy 
before he began associating with these new people. Today 
is payday, Farley. I have a thousand dollars at the ranch 
to pay the men. Do you think I could trust such a large 
amount to Paul Quillian? (Seated at L.) 

Farley. Yes'm, I think you could. My partner is as 
honest as they make 'em. 

Marguerite. I am half inclined to give him another 
trial. 

Farley. That's right, miss. Please do, for my sake. 
Maybe it'll make a man of him to know that you trust 
him again. 

Marguerite. Tell him to report to the ranch-house in 
half an hour. (Rises.) 

Farley. Thank you, miss. 

Marguerite. What a good friend you've been to him, 
Farley. 

Farley. I always try to be a good friend to everybody 
who is my friend. 

Marguerite. I almost envy young Paul Quillian. 

Farley. Do you mean that, miss? Do you mean that 
you'd care fer my friendship, fer my devotion? 

Marguerite. I am proud to call you friend, Farley. 
One of my best, one of my truest friends. (Extends hand.) 

Farley (fakes her hand bashfully). Why, Miss Mar- 
guerite, I ain't nothin' but a cowboy 

Marguerite (interrupting). You are a man, Farley 
Gantt. A man of whom any girl would be proud. 

Farley. Miss Marguerite, will you sit down a minute. 
I want to tell you a little story. 

Marguerite (sits at R., looks dozvn). A story, Farley? 

Farley (stands at C, bashfully tzvisting his hat). Yes, 
miss. 

Fawn appears on the run and watches them unseen. 

Marguerite, Go on, I'm listening. 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY Zl 

Farley. I don't hardly know jest how to begin, miss. 
You see, I've known you so long, miss — 

Marguerite. Indeed you have. Ever since I first came 
to Purple Dog, seventeen years ago. 

Farley. I can remember it like it was yesterday. Can't 
you? 

Marguerite (smiles and shakes her head). I was only 
two years old, Farley. 

Farley. That's right, so you was. It was a big joke 
on the boys, miss. There wasn't any town here then, 
nothin' but your father's ranch-house. We all heard that 
Martin Moore had decided to bring his daughter here and 
keep house. You see, there weren't no women here in those 
days and the news kinder startled, us. 

Marguerite. And were you happier without women? 

Farley. Why, miss, there ain't any happiness without 
women. You orter seen the boys when they heard your 
father was bringin' his daughter to live down here. Every 
man on the range sent to Phoenix to git a biled shirt, and 
every last one of 'em combed his hair. We was all waitin' 
right here on this spot, miss, to see the stage drive in from 
Phoenix. And when it did come there was pistols drawn 
to see who'd have the honor of openin' the door of the stage 
fer the young lady we was expectin', I opened the door 
and there I saw you ; our young lady was two years old. 

Marguerite (laughs). How I must have disappointed 
you. 

Farley. Wa'al, I wasn't goin' to let on, so I picked you 
up and carried you in my arms to your new home, and ever 
since then (hesitates, looks around bashfully, puts fingers 
in strap of L. boot and pulls, speaks in a strained tone)- 
oh, I felt like I was in Heaven fer a week after that. 

Marguerite. Why ? 

Farley. Perhaps it was because my heart went out to 
you that day. 

Marguerite. To me, Farley? 

Farley. Yes, miss, like it never has to any human being 
before or since, not even to my partner, Paul. You see, 
miss, I hadn't anyone to love then, not even a dog, and the 



38 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

thought that you might grow up one day and become my 
own seemed to sing its way into my heart, miss 

Fawn {zvho has been listening in agony during this 
speech, groans and sinks down on the run). Oh! 

Farley (runs to lier). It's httle Fawn Afraid. What 
is it, gal? 

Marguerite {goes to Fawn). Are you hurt? 

Fawn (rises quickly and speaks harshly). Don't touch 
me ! Pale-face girl do not touch Navajo maid. 

Farley. What is it, Fawn? Are you hurt? 

Fawn. No hurt. Fawn stumble on hill. Fawn all right 
now. No hurt. {To audience.) Only hurt here {puts 
hand on heart) in heart! 

Marguerite. Is there anything I can do? 

Fawn. No. Pale-face go away. Fawn want to be alone 
with White Lion. Fawn want to speak to White Lion. 

Marguerite. Very well, I will go. Tell Paul to come 
up to the ranch-house right away, Farley. The men are 
to be paid off in an hour. 

Farley. Thank you, miss. 

Marguerite {on run, near R. entrance). And you come, 
too, Farley and tell me the rest of your story. I found it 
very interesting. {Exit R.) 

Fawn. W^hite squaw listen to your words. White Lion, 
but she no love you. 

Farley. She don't? How do you know that? 

Fawn. Fawn Afraid know. White squaw no love you. 
She love another. Fawn knows. Fawn has seen. 

Farley. What have you seen. Fawn? 

Fawn. Me see pale-face squaw and your partner. He 
is the man she loves. No you. White Lion, but your partner. 
The boy you call Paul. 

Farley {sinks in chair at R. of table). Miss Marguerite, 
in love with Paul? Are you sure. Fawn? 

Fawn. Indian maid always sure. White squaw speak 
with crooked tongue to you. {Kneels beside him.) Fawn 
Afraid speak with tongue of love. {Kisses his hand.) 
Fawn Afraid loves White Lion. White Lion save her life. 
Fawn Afraid die for White Lion. 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 39 

Farley. But I don't want you to die for me, Fawn. 
You are too young to think of love. Some day, many moons 
from now maybe you'll see some fine Navajo brave and 
become his squaw. 

Fav^n (rises). No! Fawn Afraid never marry with 
Indian brave. Fawn will wait, White Lion. Fawn will 
wait and watch — and love ! (Backs out at R. gamng at him.) 

Farley. In love with my partner, and he wants to go 
to Frisco with another woman. He must not go. I'll save 
him, save him for her, even if it means a hfe of blackness 
for me. Lost to me, lost to me forever ! 

Enter Bugg frorii R. 

BuGG. Sheriff, who's going to pay off the men on Miss 
Marguerite's ranch? They're standin' in line at the ranch- 
house and they want their money. 

Farley (rises). She's decided to give Paul Quillian 
another chance. 

Bugg. She has, has she ? Humph ; she must kinder like 
him, to give him back his job after the way he's acted. 

Farley. That is her own affair. She told me to send 
him to her. Where is he? 

Bugg. I dunno. Out with that Blackshear gal, I reckon. 
If I was the boss of her ranch I wouldn't allow no sech 
foolishness. 

Farley. When she wants your advice she'll ask it. I'm 
going to find my partner. (Exit L. rear.) 

Bugg. So ^liss Marguerite's done decided to take young 

Quillian back as her paymaster, ^^'a'al, there ain't no 

tellin' what a gal will do when she takes a notion. She's 

a fine gal, too. She reminds me of a Turkish lady, one 

of the king's harem, who fell in love with me when I was 

a war correspondent in Turkey in '89. Never saw sich 

women in all my born days. They was all in love with me. 

The king had 7,212 wives and every last one of 'em wanted 

me to marry her and bring her to the United States. That 

was in '89. t^ r r 

Enter Yow Kee from L. 

Yow Kee. Bugee, your wife allee time lookee for you. 



40 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

She lookee in ranch-house, lookee in hotel, lookee on range, 
allee time lookee fer you. 

BuGG. Yes, I kinder surmise she is. But I don't want 
her to find me. 

Yow Kee. Misses Buggee heap big brimstone blue-fire 
lady all light. 

BuGG. That's right. You never said a truer word, 
heathen. I ain't afraid of my wife, but I don't like to start 
a argument with her in public. She's a fine woman, Petunia 
is, but she sure is some argufier. She was the belle of the 
whole State of Indianny when I married her in '89. Where 
is she now, chink? 

Yow Kee. Allee samee comee thataway. (Points to L.) 

BuGG. Then me allee samee go thisaway. (Points R. 
and exits R.) 

Yow Kee (looks after him and laughs). Poor Bugee, 
poor little Bugee ! Too muchee chin-chin, too muchee wife. 
(Starts to enter house at L., recoils.) Bad man comee, 
Dukee Blackshear. Dukee no likee poor Chinaman, he 
kickee stuffee out o' me allee time. Poor Chinaman makee 
hide under table. Sabe ! (Hides under table.) 

Enter Duke and Coralie from house at L. 

CoRALiE (speaking as she enters and comes dozvn R.) 
I tell you, Duke, I am sick of this place. I don't intend 
to bury myself in this mud hole any longer. You may do 
as you please, but I return to Frisco tonight. 

Duke (sitting carelessly on table). You know you must 
be careful, Coralie. It was your impatience that gave the 
bulls the clue in Salt Lake. 

Coralie (throws herself in chair at R.) That's, right, 
blame me, of course, it was all my fault. 

Duke. We must go slow. Now a week or two more — 

Coralie. In this place? Never! It is horrible. 

Duke. It is safe. You know they are scouring the 
country for us. We're safer in Purple Dog than we 
would be in China. 

Coralie (impatiently). Oh, it's safe enough. (Pauses.) 
But what a life to lead. I can't stand it any longer. 1 
won't! (Rises.) 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 41 

Duke. If we could only make a good haul — 

CoRALiE (crosses to him, bends tozvard him and speaks 
eagerly). We can. The kid is going to get his job as 
paymaster back. Once he gets that thousand dollars in 
his hands, it will be mine, mine, do you hear, and I'll catch 
the night train for Frisco. 

Duke. But it's dangerous, Coralie. 

CoRALiE. Since when have you become so cautious ? I'm 
desperate. I can't stay here any longer. 

Duke (impatiently). Oh, why can't you be satisfied? 
(Cross to R.) 

Coralie (following him). Because I can't. I tell you 
this life is killing me. I'm going to get away. At once, 
do you hear me ? At once ! 

Duke. I thought you were enjoying yourself here with 
your little cowboy sweetheart. 

Coralie (impatiently). Don't be a fool. I'll be glad 
when I'm rid of the young simpleton forever. But he's 
useful to us just now. 

Duke. He's been discharged from the ranch. (Yow Kee 
sticks his head out.) 

Coralie. Yes, but he says the cowboy Sheriff can get 
him his job back again. The girl who owns the ranch is in 
love with the Sheriff and will do anything he asks her to. 
And Paul can twist the Sheriff around his Httle finger. 

Duke. Just like you have twisted him. 

Coralie. The pay-roll of the ranch amounts to a thou- 
sand dollars. They will put the money in the boy's hands — 

Duke. And you will take it out? 

Coralie. Precisely. A thousand dollars isn't much, but 
it will take us back to Frisco and keep us safe a couple 
of months. 

Duke. But will the boy consent to this? 

Coralie. He'll do anything I say. He's been drinking 
heavily. Why, if I said the word I believe he'd steal the 
ranch money if it was necessary. 

Duke (crosses to table and sits on it). I'll have to hand 
it to you, Coralie. It's a great scheme. (Swings his foot, 



42 AN ARIZONA CO\¥BOY 

nearly hitting Yow Kee, zvho dodges to L. and R. each time 
the foot goes hack and forth.) 

CoRALiE. The kid has seen the Sheriff and he promised 
to try to get the girl to make him paymaster again. 

Duke. So far, so good ! You'd better see the boy and 
coach him in his part. 

Enter Grizzly from house at L. 

CoRALiE {at R.). Be quiet! 

Duke. Grizzly, where's the kid? 

Grizzly (at L.). Sheriff jest met him and told him to go 
to the ranch-house. He's got his old job back again. 

Duke. Good. I hope it will make a man of him. 

Grizzly. I don't understand your game, governor, but 
I know it's a crooked one, and what I wants to know is 
where do I come in? 

CoRALiE. There is no game. I'm sick of all this cow- 
boy excitement, this cattle stealing does not appeal to me. 
I'm going back to Frisco tonight. (Crosses to house at L.) 
Duke, send the kid to me just as soon as you can. Tell him 
it is very important. (Laughs and exits L.) 

Grizzly (at L. C). Now, what I want to know is 
this— 

Duke (on table). What you want to know is entirely 
too much. Remember, Grizzly Grimm, that I'm the leader 
of the band. 

Grizzly. I ain't disputin' that. 

Duke (plays with his revolver). You'd better not. Be- 
cause if you do this little instrument might fly over your 
way, and that might hurt you, mightn't it? 

Grizzly. I don't like to be kep' in the dark. 

Duke. All right, my grizzly friend, I'll put you wise. 
The little game to be played today doesn't concern us at all. 
It's between my sister and the kid. They're going to leave 
tonight and we'll take a little vacation in the Black Hole for 
a day or two. 

Grizzly. Why can't we go to Frisco ? We've got money 
enough and rustling cattle ain't safe when Farley Gantt 
is around. 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 43 

Duke (rolling a cigarette). Farley Gantt, eh? (Snaps 
fingers.) That for Farley Gantt. 

As he snaps fingers soine tobacco falls in face of Yow 
Kee^ zvho snec:jes. Duke and Grizzly leap up and point 
revolvers at him. 

Grizzly (drags him out from under table). The chink, 
by thunder ! 

Duke. Come out, you eavesdropping, yellow dog. I'm 
going to shoot both ears off your head and then Fll drive 
a spike through your tongue. 

Yow Kee (trembling, terrified). No, no. Poor Chinee! 

Duke. So, you've been listening, eh? 

Yow Kee. No can hear. Deefee in both ears ; no can 
hear. 

Duke (to Grizzly). He's heard our plans. He'll blab 
to the sheriff. 

Yow Kee. No blab, no blab ; no can talkee. Heap much 
deef and dumb. 

Duke. Do you see that knife? (Flashes knife before 
Yow Kee's eyes.) If you ever breathe one word of what 
you heard I'll slice you up in little bits and feed you to 
the hogs. 

Grizzly. Better put a shot through him right now, cap. 

Duke. And have the whole outfit on our heels. I think 
I've fixed him. No one else knows our plans. If they 
miscarry we can only blame him. And he knows what 
that means. 

Yow Kee. No speakee word, dumbee likee oyster. 

Duke (crosses to L.). I must let Coralie know. Come 
on. (Exit L. in house.) 

Grizzly. You'd better not breathe a word, heathen, er 
it'll be your last hour on earth. (Exits L.) 

Yow Kee (gives long sigh of relief). Poor Yow Kee! 
Me thought me was going to make a bee-line for Chinee 
Heaven allee samee top-side quick. 

Enter Young^'un from R. 

Young'un. Oh, there you are. Trying to catch my little 
Jupiter again? 



44 • AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

Yow Kee. No, me heap big Chinee. Me spy. No 
gottee time to catch Httle chickee. Me know plans of Flisco 
lady and gambler, Duke Blacky-shear. 

YouNG^UN. What are they going to do, Yow Kee? 

Yow Kee. No can tell. Getee cut up little chop-suey 
pieces if I tell. 

YouNC'uN. I think you might tell me, Yow Kee. I 
thought you liked me. 

Yow Kee. Yow Kee likee America gal, but no can tell. 
Heap big plot. Mr. Paul Ouillian heap badee boy. 

Young'un.. Paul Quillian a bad boy? He ain't either. 
Tell me what it is, Yow Kee. 

Yow Kee. Me tell and me get cut up in little chop-suey 
pieces. 

YouNG^UN. I think you might tell me, when I like you 
so much ! 

Yow Kee. You likee me? Allee samee in love with 
Yow Kee? (Pitts thiimhs under arms, spreads fingers, 
stalks around.) 

YouNG^UN. Sure, Pm in love with you. Now go on and 
tell me about Paul Quillian. You say he's a bad boy, what's 
he done? 

Yow Kee. He not done it. This afternoon he do it. 
{Smiles at her.) You likee Yow Kee. Yow Kee makee 
mash. Little gal heap nice. You likee mally Yow Kee? 

Young'un. I won't let you speak to me unless you tell 
me what you know. 

Yow Kee. You no tell Glizzy or Blacky-shear? 

Young'un. No, cross my heart, black and blue, hope to 
die! 

Yow Kee. All light, me tell. Paul Quillian allee samee 
get his job again. 

YouNG^UN. Have they made him paymaster again? 
Ain't that nice? 

Yow Kee. Makee him playmaster. He gettee money 
one t'ousan' dollar to makee pay for men, but he no pay 
men. He keepee money, give money to Flisco gal. They 
getee money and say good-bye Purple Dog, catchee train 
to Flisco. Good-bve t'ousan' dollar. 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 45 

Young'un. You mean that Paul Quillian is goin' to steal 
Miss Marguerite's thousand dollars? I don't believe you. 

Yow Kee. Allee samee true. Me under table. Hear 
every word. 

Enter Farley from L. 

Young'un. Oh, Mr. Gantt, Mr. Gantt ! (Runs to him.) 

Farley. Well, what is it, Young'un? Don't knock the 
breath out of me. 

Young'un. Wait till you hear my news and you won't 
have nary a breath. Paul Quillian's foolin' you. He ain't 
going to stay here. 

Farley. Oh, yes he is. Miss Marguerite's going to 
make him her paymaster. 

Young'un. It's all a bhnd. He's going to get the thou- 
sand dollars and give it to that Frisco gal, and they're 
going to leave town tonight. 

Farley (grasps her zvrist). Girl, is this true? 

Yow Kee. Allee samee true. Yow Kee under table. 
Yow Kee heard everything. 

Farley. If Paul Quillian is in this scheme, I'll never call 
him my partner again. Come, you two, I'll meet him face 
to face and force the truth from his lips. Come! (Takes 
them by arms and hurries off L.) 

Enter Marguerite from R. on the run, followed by 
Fawn. 

Marguerite. Why are you following me? 

Fawn. Fawn Afraid would speak to pale-face squaw. 

yi ARGJj^^iT'E (comes down R. and sits). Very well. What 
is it? (Pause.) Tell me. Do you want me to do anything 
for you? 

Fawn (stands proudly at C). Fawn Afraid not a beg- 
gar. Fawn Afraid not asking favors. 

Marguerite. What is it, then? 

Fawn (passionately) . Fawn Afraid hate pale-face squaw. 
You blind the eyes of White Lion for Navajo maid. He 
no can see but you. All the time, you. Me hate! 

Marguerite. I don't understand you. 



46 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

Fawn. You him love, you love White Lion, but you no 
him get. Him mine ! Mine ! White Lion belongs to me. 

Marguerite (rises). Why, girl, what do you mean? I 
am in love with no one. 

Fawn. Navajo maid have deep eyes. See far. White 
Squaw love coWboy Sheriff. 

Marguerite. Well, what affair is it of yours? You're 
not his wife ! 

Fawn. Yes '.- Kim mine ! Me his squaw for ever and 
forever. {Crosses to run.) Him belongs to me. Pale-face 
take him away from me, I kill! (Raises knife.) I kill! 
(Ru7is tip run and exits R.) 

Marguerite. Have no fear, I would not take another 

woman's husband. I'll treat him with the contempt he 

deserves. 

Enter Farley from L. 

Farley. Miss Marguerite, I have been looking for you — 

Marguerite (coolly). And now that you have found 
me? 

Farley. I want to speak to you about Paul Quillian. 

Marguerite. It is useless. I have changed my mind. 
I refuse to take him back in my employ. 

Enter Bugg from R. and Duke and Coralie from L. 

Farley. That's just what I was going to tell you to do. 

Bugg (comes down C. between them). Miss IMarguer- 
ite, the men is waitin' fer their pay. Who's going to give 
it to them? 

AIarguerite. You are. 

Bugg. Me? 

Marguerite. I hereby appoint you the paymaster of my 
ranch, Mr. Bugg. 

Bugg. Well, I'll be durned. I ain't been a paymaster 
since '89. 

Marguerite (hands him package of money). There's 
the pay-roll and one thousand dollars in bills. I can trust 
you. (Crosses to run.) Pay off the men as soon as possible. 

Farley. Shall I walk up to the ranch with you? 

Marguerite. Certainly not, sir. I am able to walk to 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 47 

the ranch without an escort. You had better find your wife. 
I think she is waiting for you. (Exit up run and off R.) 

Farley. My wife? What in thunder does she mean by 
my wife? Here, Miss Marguerite, wait a minute. (RitsJies 
up run and off R.) 

BuGG. Paymaster, me ! A thousand dollars ! I ain't had 
so much money in my hands since I was the president of 
the Iron Mountain Railroad down in Tennessee in '89. I 
reckon I gotta go and tell my wife. (Exit R.) 

Enter Duke and Coralie. 

Duke. Follow him, watch him. We must have that 
thousand dollars. 

Coralie. Where's Paul? 

Duke. Here he comes. I'll keep my eye on the old man. 

^ '^ Enter Paul from L. 

Coralie. Our scheme has failed. She's appointed Bugg 
as .paymaster. 

Paul. Thank Heaven ! At least I shall know that I am 
not a thief. 

Coralie. And are you willing to let that thousand dol- 
lars slip through our fingers? We must have it. We can't 
get to Frisco without it. 

Paul. You wouldn't steal it from the old man? 

Coralie. I'm desperate, Paul. I can't stay here any 
longer. We must leave for Frisco tonight, and we must 
have that money. 

Paul. Hush, he's coming! 

Coralie. You have your knife. One. thrust and the 
money is ours. Quick, we must act at once. 

Paul (starts hack). No, no, Coralie, don't ask that. 

Coralie. Give me the knife. (She takes his knife.) You 
coward ! 

Paul. But Coralie ! 

Coralie. Will you get the money for me, or must I do 
it myself? Sh ! He's here. (They hide up L.) 

Enter Bugg from R. He comes dozvn C. and sits at table. 



48 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

BuGG. My wife's jest as tickled as a kid at a Sunday 
School picnic. Actually tried to kiss me, by heck. (Pause.) 
And she hain't tried to kiss me before since '89. A thou- 
sand dollars! (Looks at money, counting it over.) And 
me, Hezekiah Bugg, the paymaster of the ranch ! 

CoRALiE and Paul advance behind Bugg. Coralie tries 
to give knife to Paul and pantomimes for him to stab 
Bugg. He shrinks back horrified, she pantomimes her 
scorn, takes knife and slips toward Bugg, zvho is counting 
the money. SJie stabs him in the side just as Younc/un 
appears on run. Bugg falls to floor. Coralie drops knife 
and seizes the money. 

Paul (horrified). Great heavens, what have you done? 

Coralie. Quick, the money is ours. We'll steal the fast- 
est ponies on the ranch and get the train for Frisco. (Puts 
money under her hat.) 

Paul and Coralie start out L. but meet Yow Kee. Paul 
catches him and flings Jiim to the H^oor. Yow Kee screams. 
YouNG''uN runs down and kneels beside Bugg. 

Young'un. Help, help, they've killed the paymaster. 
(Paul and Coralie start to exit L. but are confronted 
by Farley.) 

Farley. Hold on hyar. What's, happened ? 

Enter all other characters from L. and R. 

Young'un. They've killed the paymaster. 

Farley. Bugg stabbed? Is he dead, Young'un? 

YouNG^UN. No, sir. He's breathing. 

Farley. Who did it? 

Paul (comes to him). I did it. 

Farley. You ! Paul, it ain't true. Tell me, boy, that it 
ain't true. You couldn't have done this thing. 

Coralie. He did, I saw him. I swear it. See, there's 
his knife. 

Farley (takes knife, reads name on handle). Paul Quil- 
lian ! 

Big Elk. The money all gone ! 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 49 

Farley (straightens up). This Is the hardest job I've 
ever had to do in my Hfe. I've got to arrest my partner. 
Paul QuilHan, you are my prisoner! 

Young'un (rises)* Hold on, thar. He ain't the one. 

Farley. What do you mean? 

Young'un. It was her. She stabbed him. I saw her do 
it. (Points to CoRALiE, zvho is at L.) 

CoRALiE. It's false! 
• Young'un (confronts her zvith flaming eyes). It ain't 
false. You know it ain't. You stabbed him' and you stole 
the money, and here it is ! (Grabs hat from Coralie's head, 
showing money. She hands money to Farley.) 

Tableau Curtain. 

Second Picture: Farley arresting Coralie. Grizzly 
tries to interfere from R. Yow Kee and Young^un pull 
him hackzvard into the tub of zvater. 



Act hi. 

Scene : Same as before, tzvo months later. Note : If 
desired, this act may be played with a kitchen or log cabin 
interior scene. 

Discovered : Marguerite seated at C, Young^un kneel- 
ing on stump or hassock by her side. 

Young'un. Miss Marguerite, let's not do any more les- 
sons. I'm so full of book learning now that I'm just about 
to bust. 

Marguerite. You have made great improvement in two 
months, Kittie. I little thought that the wild, harum-scarum 
little waif from the poor-house would develop into a young 
lady in such a short time. 

Young'un. I owe it all to you, Miss Marguerite. You're 
the best friend a poor little nameless waif ever had. How 
can I ever repay you? 

Marguerite. By never mentioning it again, Kittie. The 
day you saved my thousand dollars I decided that I'd give 



so AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

you a chance, that I'd try to make a young lady of you, and 
I have never regretted my bargain, even for a moment. 

Young'un. You treat me just Hke a sister. Up at the 
poor-house they taught me to read and write, but that was 
all, and I had to work like a Greaser. Why, you even gave 
me a name. Nobody ever called me anything but Young'un 
till I came to live with you. And now I'm Kittie Jones. 
Isn't that just fine? And I suppose I'll be Kittie Jones 
for a long, long time. {Long sigh.) 

Marguerite. What do you mean? 

Young'un. I mean that I'll be Kittie Jones until I get 
married, and that's going to be a long way off. 

Marguerite. Are you thinking of matrimony, Kittie? 

Young'un. Not very hard, but maybe some day — 
(pauses). 

Marguerite. I notice young Paul Quillian seems very 
much interested in you. 

Young'un. Do you really think he likes me? • 

Marguerite. I'm sure he does. You saved him from 
going to prison. 

Young'un. But he used to be in love with CoraHe Black- 
shear only two months ago. 

Marguerite (smiles). Many things can happen in two 
months, Kittie. 

Young'un. I know it. Well, Paul told me that he loved 
me last night. 

Marguerite (astonished). Kittie! 

Young'un. He did, and he wants me to marry him, but I 
wouldn't give him an answer. He said men make up their 
minds in a hurry in Arizona, and I'm sure he doesn't ever 
think of Coralie any more. We'll never see her again. Oh, 
Miss Marguerite, wasn't it awful for her. Just think, five 
years in prison. 

Marguerite. She was a wicked woman, little Kittie. 
But we mustn't think about her any more. I think you are 
too young to let Paul make love to you. 

Young'un. I don't let him. I won't allow it, if you say 
I mustn't. But I think he's awfully nice. And maybe some 
day — (rises). 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 51 

Marguerite (puts her arms around her and drazvs her 
close). Kittie, little girl, this is serious. Love must never 
be treated lightly. It is tiie most beautiful thing in the 
world. Love is like a ladder. 

Young'un. a ladder? 

Marguerite. On the first round you meet, full of life 
and hope as youth ever is. Next, heart speaks to heart, 
the old, old story. 

YouNG^UN. The sweetest story ever told. {Very se- 
rious. ) 

Marguerite. The third round is marriage with blue 
skies and wedding bells. The sun shines, the flowers bloom 
and life is one glad sweet song. Then comes motherhood, 
dear, with all its sweet yearnings and holy affections. Fifth, 
age creeps on with dim eyes turning back to the sweet memo- 
ries of the past. (Sadly.) And last comes the part we ever 
dread, but which always overtakes us in the end. Dear, 
married life is all this and more. 

Young'un. Six rounds and I'm only at the first. (Long 
sigh.) Miss Marguerite, you talk just like the Bible. 

Paul is heard singing or whistling outside at R. 

Marguerite (rises). Listen, Paul is coming now. 

YouNG^UN. Yes, I hear him. He's not much of a musi- 
cian, is he, Miss Marguerite? 

Marguerite. I'll leave you two together. (Crosses to 
L.) You remember the old saying that two is company — 

YouNG''uN. And three is a whole army. (Marguerite 
laughs and exits at L.) 

Enter Paul from R. He comes to Young^un and takes 
her hands. 

Paul. Hello, Kittie. 

YouNG''uN. My, how you startled me. I didn't know 
you were home. I thought you were still out on the range. 

Paul. I came in to meet my partner. 

YouNG''uN. Is Farley Gantt coming today? 

Paul. Yes. I'll certainly be glad to see him. Do you 
know, Kittie, I think Farley's in love with Miss Marguerite. 



52 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

Young'un. Then why don't he tell her so? A girl always 
likes to be told little things like that. 

Paul. Do they? 

A^oung'un (zvitli closed lips, signifying assent). Um-um ! 
I always do. 

Paul. How many folks told you such a thing? 

YouNG^UN. One or two, maybe more. 

Paul. And what do you generally say when a man tells 
you he loves you? 

Young'un. Are you asking for information or just for 
conversation ? 

Paul. A little of each, I think. 

Young'un. Then I won't tell you. But you'd better talk 
to Farley and give him some advice. If he loves Miss Mar- 
guerite, you tell him he'd better say so right out, and not 
beat about the bush. 

Paul. Does she like him? 

Young'un. I don't know. Sometimes I think she does, 
but she always seems so sad, just like she had a broken 
heart or the hay fever or something. 

Paul. I don't see how any girl could help loving a man 
like my partner. 

Young'un. I don't either. 

Paul (jealously). Do you love him, Kittie? 

Young'un. You wouldn't care if I did, would you? 

Paul. Yes, I would. I don't want you to care for any- 
one but me. 

Young'un. And do you really, truly care for me, Paul? 

Paul. Really and truly. 

Young'un. And never think any more of Coralie Black- 
shear? 

Paul. Never, except with loathing. I was a young fool 
two months ago, Kittie. Pve changed since then. 

Young'un. Yes, you have a little. You're two months 
older. 

Paul. You promised to give me an answer today. 
(Comes close to her chair.) If you say yes, life will be a 
garden of flowers, a long, sweet poem. 

Young'un, This isn't a world of poems, Paul, and 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 53 

flower gardens are all right in their way, but a potato patch 
makes a bigger hit with me. Now how many years will it 
take to make a sturdy, steady man out of this happy-go- 
lucky boy of mine? A man that a girl can look up to and 
lean on. 

Paul. You can lean on me now. 

YouNG^UN. I don't believe I'm ready to accept the re- 
sponsibility of a wife. I'm not sure yet that the mischiev- 
ous Httle waif will be the proper kind of a wife for years 
and years to come. 

Paul. How long will you want to get over your child- 
ishness? 

YouNC'uN. Would you mind, say, fifteen years? 

Paul. Fifteen? That's all right. I was afraid you'd 
make it fifty. 

YouNG^UN. Fifteen years seems mighty long. We can 
allow ourselves a good per cent off for good behavior. 

Paul. I'll go away. I'll leave you to grow, while I make 
a fortune for us somewhere in the East. Up in Denver 
or Salt Lake City. 

Young'un. Oh, no, not there. Any place but Salt Lake 
City. 

Paul. Very well. I must not linger. Duty calls me and 
I've only got fifteen years to attend to my little matters in. 
So, good-bye, Kittie, good-bye for fifteen years. (Goes to 
rear of stage.) 

YouNG^UN {sitting facing front). Why, he's — {sees him 
and smiles). He wouldn't go. {Aloud, so he can hear.) 
Paul's gone and I'll never see his dimples again. They'll 
all be wrinkles when he comes back, and he will be fat and 
bald-headed. {Rises.) He was a good boy (gradually 
crosses to L.), not exactly smart, but good. Good for some 
things. Good to shoo the flies off the table, but he was 
awfully slow. {Dozvn L.) 

Enter Mrs. Bugg from rear R. Paul points to 
YouNG^'uN, Mrs. Bugg comes down behind her and puts 
both arms around her zvaist. Young''un holds up her mouth, 
then looks and sees Mrs. Bugg. 



54 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

YouNG^UN. Oh, it's you? Where's Paul? 

Mrs. B. (still holds her waist). Paul's gone. 

Young'un. Gone without bidding me good-bye ! Oh, 
Mrs. Bugg! (Cries. Mrs. Bugg motions for Paul to take 
her place. He does so.) 

Mrs. B. (zuhile exchange is being made). Now don't 
you take on fer that critter. I don't think you cared much 
fer him no-how. 

Young'un (indignantly). Not care for Paul? Why, I 
loved him better than — (suddenly sees his hands). 

Mrs. B. (close behind Paul). Better than what? 

YouNG^UN. Better than the seven-year itch. 

(Mrs. Bugg throws up her hands in horror and exits R.) 

Paul. The time's up. 

YouNG''uN. Not fifteen years, 

Paul. Yes, less ninety-nine per cent for good behavior. 
(Kisses her.) 

Enter Bugg from R. He sees them kiss. 

Bugg. Gee whillikins ! What was that? 

Paul (at L.). What was what? 

Young'un (runs to R.). Did you hear anything, Mr. 
Bugg? 

Bugg (at C). Hear anything. You bet I did. It sounded 
like our old heifer pullin' her foot ker-smack out'n the mud. 
This yere is the all-firedest country on earth fer sparkin'. 
It actually beats the days of '89. You two young sprouts 
better go slow. You don't know your own minds yet. 
Paul, you stick to the range until you larn some sense and 
earn some money. Young'un, you go on with the flat-iron 
business a while longer. Never mind straight fronts and 
false hair and sich fandangoes till you graduate from the 
frying-pan. You two certainly did astonish me. I ain't 
been so shocked since I was kissed by the Queen of Egypt 
at the World's Fair in Chicago in '89. 

Young'un (rtms over and grabs Paul). Come on, Paul. 
We'll go out in the corral and finish where we left ofif. 
(They dance off at R.) 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 55 

BuGG. Crazy as a couple of bedbugs ; but I was jist that- 
away myself over in Rooshy in '89. 

Mrs. B. {outside R.), Hezekiah! Hezekiah Bugg! 

Enter Mrs. Bugg from R. 

Mrs. B. Oh, there you are. 

Bugg. Yes, my angel. (Goes to L.) 

Mrs. B. {follozving him). Shut up! That there Romeo 
and Juliet business don't go with me. The wood ain't been 
brought in yet and the stove's got to be cleaned out. And 
both the children's got to be washed. 

Bugg. When I was with Roosyfelt's Rough Riders over 
in Spain in '89, I didn't have to wash no children. {Sits at 
L., puts head on table.) 

Mrs. B. Shut up! {Hits table with broom.) Don't you 
dare talk back to me. A pretty life you've lead me and I've 
been married to you over twenty years. 

Bugg. It seems like a hundred and twenty. 

Mrs. B. {raises her broom). What's that? 

Bugg. Nothing, nothing at all, my rosebud. 

Mrs. B. I've supported you in idleness ever since we was 
married, but I've made up my mind that there's got to be 
a change. Do you hear? 

Bugg. Yes, my precious, I hear. 

Mrs. B. You'll get to work er you'll get nothing to eat. 

Bugg. Work? I'm the greatest worker in the hull State 
of Arizony. Why I was vice-president of a hand-laundry, 
the manager of a Iron foundry, boss of a automobeel fac- 
tory and president of a bank up in New Hampshire in '89. 

Mrs. B. Liar! 

Bugg {rises with dignity). What's that, madam? 

Mrs. B. {facing him). Liar! 

Bugg. See here, madam, I demand the respect due to a 
husband from his lawful wedded wife. 

Mrs. B. {shaking her fist under his nose and backing him 
toivard R.). There ain't another woman in the State of 
Arizony who'd put up with such a man. {Backs him off R. 
and exits R.) 

Enter Fawn and Big Elk from L. 



56 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

Big Elk. What for you come to ranch-house today? 

Fawn. I come to see White Squaw. Must see pale-face 
girl. Navajo maid have speech with White Squaw. 

Big Elk. Fawn Afraid only child of Big Elk. Big Elk 
love little Fawn more than gold, more than ponies. Go, 
speak with White Squaw. Big Elk wait there. (Points to 
L. and exits L.) 

Fawn. Indian maid have broken heart. Never care to 
see sun rise again, never care to see moon set or flowers 
bloom. All is night, black, black night for Indian maid. 
Little Fawn with false heart, with lying, crooked tongue. 

Enter Marguerite from R. 

Marguerite. Fawn Afraid, you here ! (Starts to exit 

Fawn. No, do not go. Fawn Afraid would speak with 
pale-face girl. 

Marguerite (down R.). What can you have to say to 
me? 

Fawn. Me have much to say. Fawn Afraid tell you she 
White Lion's squaw. She lie. She speak with forked 
tongue, like snake. Feel ashamed now, heap ashamed. 
Heart burn with shame. Me he ! Me make your heart sad, 
make heart of White Lion sad. Better Indian maid bear 
all the pain alone. (Crosses to Marguerite^ kneels.) Pale- 
face, forgive Indian maid. Fawn Afraid lie. Him no be- 
long to me, me no him squaw. Him no love me. White 
Lion loves only one woman and it is you ! Forgive ! For- 
give ! (Bozvs face in hands.) 

Marguerite. You mean that Farley Gantt does not love 
you? 

Fawn. Me him love, him love much. Fawn Afraid 
would die for White Lion, but he loves you. So I, Navajo 
maid, Fawn Afraid, I too love you. 

Marguerite. And you tell me this because you love him. 

Fawn. Fawn Afraid would give her life to make White 
Lion happy. (Rises.) Me love him, always, always. Till 
me die, even if he loves million pale-faces. (Looks at her, 
then suddenly runs out at L.) 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 57 

Marguerite. What a strange girl. I am glad she is not 

his wife. This wild girl of the plains and I, educated in 

the city, both fall in love with the same man, and such is 

fate. 

Enter Farley Gantt from R. 

Farley. Miss Marguerite ! 

Marguerite. Farley! (Gives him both her hands.) 

Farley. I had to ride in today to make my report. I 
don't intend to stay. 

Marguerite. But why not? 

Farley. Because it is ha;-d for me to get a glimpse of 
paradise and to know that it must ever be beyond my reach. 

Marguerite. What do you mean? 

Farley. I can't explain any more, only I hope you'll be 
very happy with my partner. 

Marguerite. Your partner? With Paul Quillian? 

Farley. Yes, for he's a boy in a million. 

Marguerite. But I don't want to be happy with him. 
He's engaged to Kittie Jones. 

Farley. And you don't care for him? 

Marguerite. Only as a good, true friend. 

Farley. But I thought you were in love with Paul, miss. 

Marguerite. Absurd. But where have you been for 
the past month, Farley? 

Farley. Up in the hills. Fve been on the trail of Grizzly 
Grimm and Duke Blackshear. They've been rustling cattle 
for many weeks, but I don't seem to be able to find them. 
They're hidden away in the mountains in a place called the 
Black Hole. It is in the wildest part of the hills and is 
reached only by a secret' passage through the caves. 

Marguerite. And is Blackshear there? 

Farley. Yes. He has gathered a band of desperate 
ruffians together and they defy me. But Pll get them yet. 

Marguerite. Oh, you must be careful. They might catch 
you unawares. 

Farley. And if they did, miss, would it make any differ- 
ence to you? 

Marguerite (slowly, with doivncast eyes). Yes, Farley, 
it would. 



58 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

Farley. Miss Marguerite, since you've said that it gives 
me new hope. My heart throbs with unexpected joy. It 
tells me that some day I might have a chance to enter the 
paradise I thought was lost to me forever.- The world has 
changed for me. I ride all day with thoughts of you in 
my heart and when I get to the bunk-house at night I can't 
sleep thinking of you. Often I go out on the buttes yonder 
and lie gazing up at the stars, and all that I can see are two, 
and those are your eyes, and my heart cries out. Marguer- 
ite, I love you, love you with my whole heart and soul, 
and I want you to be my wife. 

Marguerite. Farley, you are the bravest and noblest 
man I have ever met. This is the proudest moment of my 
life. {He embraces her.) 

Enter Yow Kee from L. zvifh tray of dishes. He sees 
them. 

Yow Kee (gives a yell, tJirozvs up his arms and drops 
dishes). Weee ! Allee samee movie picture show! Do it 
again, do it again ! Me likee heap much, allee samee picture 
show. 

Farley. Come, Miss Marguerite, let's hunt up my part- 
ner. I want him to be the first to hear the good news 
{Exit up run with Marguerite.) 

Yow Kee {capering with glee). He kissee her, she kissee 
he, right smack on lips. Yum, yum ! Allee samee heap 
much kissee. Who dat come? 

Enter Grizzly from rear L. 

Grizzly {levels revolver at Yaw Kee). Throw up yer 
hands. 

Yow Kee {flings up his hands, then lowers than). All 
light. 

Grizzly. Hands .up ! 

Yow Kee {looking high up at sky). Hands up? Up 
where ? 

Grizzly. Quick, I ain't goin' to fool. (Yow Kee com- 
plies.) Now, whar's all the boys? 

Yow Kee. Allee same ride out on range. 

Grizzly. Good. Whar's the gal? 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 59 

Yow Kee. What gal? 

Grizzly. The boss of the ranch. 

Yow Kee. Miss Marg'lete she allee samee up by ranch- 
house. 

Grizzly. And whar's that young jail-bird, Paul Quil- 
lian? 

Yow Kee. Paul Quill'an no jail-bird. 

Grizzly. You lie ! He's a jail-bird and you're another. 
(Close to him,) 

Yow Kee. Yow Kee no jail-bird ; me no glot wings, no 
glot tail ! (Turns around to shozv the truth of this statement 
to Grizzly.) Only got one tail, pig-tail. (Sei:::es his queue 
and gives it a quick flirt across Grizzly^s face.) 

Grizzly (yells and drops revolver). Ouch! You've 
knocked every blamed eye outer me with yer tarnal pig- 
tail. Ow ! (Puts kmtckles in eyes.) 

Yow Kee. Hi! yi ! yi ! (Snatches up revolver in both 
hands and points it at Grizzly.) Hands up, or me shoot. 
Hi ! yi ! 

Grizzly. Tarnation! Ef the dumb critter ain't got my 
revolver. (Alarmed.) Here, y' heathen, be careful of that 
thing or it'll go off. 

Yow Kee. All light, let her go. 

Grizzly. P'int it the other way. Take keer, I say ! 
(Tries to get out of range.) 

Yow Kee (following him in circle around stage, the re- 
volver held in both hands). Hands up, jail-bird. Quick! 
Else me blow gizzard allee full of lat-holes. Hi ! yi ! yi ! 
(Fires revolver.) 

Grizzly. Help, help, Em killed! (Rushes up run and 
off R.) 

Yow Kee (capering around). Hi! yi ! He go so fast 
allee same jack rabbit. 

Enter Bugg and Cowboys from R. and L. 

BuGG. Who was shot, heathen? 

Yow Kee. Me allee samee shootee jack-rabbit. Cook 
for supper. 

Bugg. Cook? Why you can't cook. 



60 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

Yow Kee. Me good cook ! Mmm! Yow Kee cookee blead 
and fish, and pies. Makee chop suey and yoka-mai, allee 
same made with lats and mice and Httle barkee-barkee dogs. 
(Runs to door L.) Me makee good soup. You want to 
come board with Yow Kee? 

BuGG. Not on yer chin whiskers! {Exit Yow Kee at 
L.) I'm goin' to kill that Chinaman some day. And I ain't 
killed a Chinaman since '89. I had a dispute with one out 
in Columbus, Ohio, about a laundry bill. He called me a 
liar and I'll be gin-swiggled if I didn't kill thirteen of 'em 
before I got shot in the fracas. 

Enter Farley from R. 

Farley {who came on in time to hear Bugg's speech). 
That story's all right, Bugg, but the last time you told it 
the Chinaman was in Kansas City, Missouri, and you killed 
twenty-two of 'em. (Cowboys all laugh.) 

Bugg. I see I ain't appreciated here. But in all the big 
cities they all know Hezekiah" Bugg. Say, Farley, if you 
go over to the ranch-house I want you to say a few words 
to my wife. The poor critter imagines I'm going to desert 
her. Tell her that Hezekiah Bugg will never desert his 
Petunia as long as she has a roof to cover his head, and a 
crust of bread to feed his empty stomach. Why, I remem- 
ber in '89— 

Farley. Never mind the story, Bugg, I'll tell her. 

{Exit R.) ^ ^ , ^ 

Enter Paul from E. 

Bugg. The folks here in Purple Dog don't appreciate a 
gentleman like I am. I was just thinkin' about a quarrel 
I had with my wife in '89. It was over in London, Eng- 
land. I was giving a lecture in behalf of the Suffragettes 
and the women followed me around the town by the hun- 
dreds, wrote me love letters by the thousand and sent me 
violets every day. My wife got jealous and brung me to 
Arizony. That was in '89. 

Paul. '89 was a great year with you, wasn't it, Heze- 
kiah? 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 61 

BuGG. Wa'al, I was kep' purty tolerably busy between 
'86 and '91. ^^^^^^ Farley from R. 

Farley {at R.). It's all right. I told her you wouldn't 
leave her, and she said she couldn't drive you away with a 
club. 

BuGG. What did she say? 

Farley. She said she was going to try the ax. {All 
laugh.) Well, I guess Fll go and get a drink. 

BuGG. Did you say a drink? Say, Farley, do you know 
that ef I don't git a drink every morning at ten o'clock my 
heart don't beat reg'lar. 

Farley. Well, your heart may not, but you do. 

BuGG. What? 

Farley. Beat regular. {All laugh.) But, come on and 
join me, everybody. This is a great day. {Cross to L., fol- 
lozved by Cowboys.) 

BuGG. I'll take jest one, but I dunno what my friend 
the Methodist preacher would say if he knowed it. {Exit L. 
followed by all.) 

Enter Duke and Grizzly from R. 

Grizzly. The men are all over there in the tavern. 

Duke. Then this is our chance. 

Grizzly. I don't like this job, governor. Kidnapping 
full-grown female women ain't exactly in my line. 

Duke. It'll be a bonanza for us. And what a glorious 
revenge on the cowboy Sheriff. 

Grizzly. The gal is coming down the hill now. 

Duke. Are the horses ready? 

Grizzly. Right behind that tree. 

Duke. Then lay low. Grizzly. This is a dangerous game, 
{They hide at L.) 

Enter Marguerite from R. Duke meets her as she 
comes singing down the run. 

Duke. Morning, Miss Moore ! 

Marguerite {starts back). Duke Blackshear, you here! 

Duke. Entirely at your service. 

(Grizzly slips back of Marguerite with shawl.) 



62 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

Marguerite. Please stand aside and let me pass. 

Duke {grasps her wrist). Not yet, my beauty. 

Grizzly throws shawl over her head and they carry her 
out at L. Enter Fawn on run. She sees them. 

Fawn {calls off R.). Father, father! 
Big Elk appears on run. 

Big Elk. You call ? What for ? 

Fawn. Grizzly and Blackshear steal pale-face squaw. 
Fawn Afraid take the trail. {Runs out at L.) 

Big Elk rushes to house at L. and exits in. Pause. 
Then Big Elk re-enters from L., follozved by Farley, 
Paul and Cowboys. 

Big Elk. Ride fast ! Take ponies, take horses. Quick ! 
Grizzly and Blackshear steal pale-face. 

Enter Young'un and Mrs. Bugg from R. 

Mrs. B. ]\Iarguerite's disappeared. 

YouNG^UN. They've stolen her. ^ Farley, they've stolen 
her. 

Big Elk. Blackshear have pale-face squaw front saddle. 
Fawn Afraid follow them. She take the trail. She leave 
mark for us to follow. Quick ! Saddle horse, saddle pony. 
Take the trail. Kill Grizzly, kill Blackshear ! Revenge! 

Farley. Paul, get my pony, and one for Big Elk and 
yourself. Bovs, we'll have her back agin before night, or 
ril kill Duke Blackshear. 

Curtain. 



Act IV. 

Scene: A cave in the mountains. The rocky scenery 
used in the preceding acts may he used to form this cave. 
Only one entrance, at L. Stage very dark all through the 
act. Enter from L. Duke, Grizzly and Marguerite. 
Grizzly flings her to R. An old table appears down R. 
with lantern burning on it. 

]\Iarguerite. Where are you taking me? 

Grizzly. Right where you are. This is the Black Hole. 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 63 

Marguerite. Farley Gantt will make you pay dearly for 
this outrage. 

Duke {taking C). Farley Gantt will never find the 
secret entrance to the Black Hole. You are as far from 
him as you will be in your grave. There is only one en- 
trance to this place and that is known only to my men. 
Farley Gantt has sought us for months, but here we can 
laugh in his face. (Grasps her zvrist.) So Farley Gantt's 
your sweetheart, is he ? Well, here you are to be my sweet- 
heart. And if you're not, I'll kill you! 

Marguerite. Then you'll kill me, Duke Blackshear, for 
I hate you, I despise you ! 

Duke. Oh, you'll change your mind. A few days' star- 
vation will take away your spirit, my beauty. And no one 
will ever find you here. 

Fawn Afraid enters from L. and confronts him. Griz- 
zly at rear. 

Fawn (zvith folded arms). Duke Blackshear lie! 

Duke (drazvs revolver). What are you doing here? 

Fawn. Me follow you. Me hate this woman. Me want 
to see her die. 

Duke. You hate her, eh? And why? 

Fawn. She love the White Lion. She steal his love 
from Fawn Afraid. Indian maid hate her! Fawn Afraid 
want to see her die ! 

Duke. Good ! Put up your gun, Grizzly. Fawn, would 
you kill her if I tell you to? 

Fawn. Me kill now. (Springs at Marguerite zvith 
knife upraised.) 

Duke (after she crosses him, catches her L. zvrist .and 
drags her hack to C). No, you can join us and look after 
the girl, but don't you harm her unless I bid ^ou. (Mar- 
guerite sinks on bench at R.) I think she's fainted. Injun, 
look after her. (Fawn crosses and kneels by Marguerite.) 

Grizzly (comes dozvn L.). Are you goin' to keep both 
of 'em, governor? 

Duke (joins him at L.). Sure. The Injun girl can cook 
and you can have her for your squaw. 



64 AN ARIZONA COWBOY 

Grizzly. Good ! But are we goin' to stick to the cave 
for good now? 

Duke. We'll have to. But we can keep right on rustling 
the cattle. (Grizzly and Duke pantomime conversation.) 

Fawn (to Marguerite). Me Fawn Afraid, me heap 
good friend to you and to White Lion. Make no sign. If 
Duke Blackshear turn this way, you fight me, or him kill. 
Me see you when they stole you. Big Elk, too. Him tell 
White Lion. They take trail. Soon they get here. 

Marguerite. Pray Heaven they may not be too late. 
But how can they find the secret entrance to the cave? 

Fawn. Navajo girl wise. She leave marks on the trail. 
Her father. Big Elk, he see the marks. He follow the trail. 
Soon he be here. 

Marguerite. But I thought you hated me. 

Fawn (sadly). Me no hate. Me love White Lion. 
White Lion love you. Me save you for White Lion. (Duke 
turns tozvard them, Fawn sees this and changes her tone, 
springing toward INIarguerite and brandishing knife.) 
Pale-face quiet, or Fawn will kill ! 

Duke. Grizzly, go out and get a powder keg with a fuse 
in it. If you see anyone coming up the butte throw it down 
the path and it'll blow them to Kingdom Come. {Exit 
Grizzly at L.) Now, Farley Gantt's sweetheart, you will 
have the first taste of the Hps of the man you hate ! 

{He grasps her in his arms. She takes his knife from 
his belt and holds it against his breast.) 

Marguerite. Back, you hound, or I will kill you ! 

Duke. You're crazy, girl. Drop that knife. We're three 
to one. 

Fawn {draivs her own knife and springs to Marguer- 
ite's side). No, two to one! 

Duke. Grizzly ! 

Enter Grizzly from L. Girls stand back to back, knives 
in R. hands upraised, L. arms back of them encircling each 
other's waist. They circle aronnd. Grizzly levels revolver. 

Duke Don't shoot. Take their knives away. 

Grizzly. It's a ticklish job. {Circles around the girls.) 



AN ARIZONA COWBOY 65 

Duke. I'll do It. (Darts at girls, grabs both their R. 
arms, holds them straight out zvhile Grizzly wrencJies 
knives away from tJiem.) 

Grizzly. I got 'em. 

Duke. Tie the Injun to that table. (Holds Marguerite 
while Grizzly drags Fawn to table and ties her.) She's a 
traitor and must die a traitor's death. Hold your knife over 
her and when I say go, drive it to the hilt. 

Farley, Big Elk and Paul riish into cave froMi L. 

Farley. Hands up ! 

(Big Elk jumps on Grizzly and throzvs him to floor. 
Farley forces up Duke's hands. Paul unties Fawn.) 

Big Elk. Me kill! (Starts to stab Grizzly.) 

Farley. Just a moment. You mustn't do that, Big Elk. 
I'm the Sheriff of this county and they must have a fair 
trial. In the name of the State of Arizony I arrest you. 
Grizzly Grimm and Duke Blackshear. I reckon your little 
game is up. Big Elk, put the handcuffs on 'em. 

Duke. The game might be up and they might hang me, 
but I'll kill you first, Farley Gantt. (Draws revolver quickly 
and fires at Farley Gantt.) 

Fawn. No ! (Springs in front of Farley and is shot. 
She falls C.) 

Enter all other characters, with lights. 

Farley. The cur, he's killed her. (Men drag Duke and 
Grizzly out at L.) 

Big Elk (picks up Fawn and carries her to door L.). 
Little Fawn Afraid go happy hunting grounds. Big Elk's 
heart sad. Fawn was all he had. Now the light has gone 
out of Fawn's eyes, so has the light gone out of sun for 
Big Elk. I take her back to tepee — to her people. Fawn 
Afraid die like an Injun — like a Navajo brave! (Exits L.) 

Farley. Poor little girl. She died for me. Fawn 
Afraid, the bravest little girl in Arizona. 

Marguerite (crosses to him). She died for us. 

Farley (takes her in his arms). And the light is begin- 
ning to shine on a new day, the light of love! (Embraces 
her.) Curtain. 



Safety First 



By SHELDON PARMER 

Price, 25 Cents 

Farce -comedy, in 3 acts; 5 males, 5 females. Time, 2Vi hours. 
Scenes: A parlor and a garden, easily arranged. A sprightly 
farce full of action and with a unique plot teeming with unex- 
pected turns and twists that will make the audience wonder "what 
on earth is coming next." Behind the fun and movement lurks 
a great moral: Always tell the truth to your wife. The cast 
includes three young men, a funny policeman, a terrible Turk, 
two young ladies, a society matron, a Turkish maiden and Mary 
O'Finnigan, the Irish cook. The antics of the terror-stricken 
husband, the policeman, the dude and the Irish cook start the 
audience smiling at 8:15 and send them home with aching sides 
from tke tornado of fun at 10:40. Suitable for performance any- 
where, but recommended for lodges, clubs and schools. Not a 
coarse or suggestive line in the play. 

SYNOPSIS 

Act I. — Jack's lil suburban home. A misplaced husband. "He 
kissed me good-bye at eighteen minutes after seven last night, 
and I haven't laid eyes on him since." The Irisli maid is full 
of sympathy but she imagines a crime has been committed. 
Elmer, the college boy, drops in. And the terrible Turk drops 
out. "Sure the boss has eloped wid a Turkey!" Jerry and Jack 
come home after a horrible night. Explanations. "We joined the 
Shriners, I'm the Exalted Imported Woggle and Jack is the Ba- 
zook!" A detective on the trail. "V\^arrants for John Doe, Richard 
Roe and Mary Moe. "We're on our way to Florida!" 

Act II. — A month later. Jack and Jerrj^ reported drowned at 
sea. The Terrible Turk looking for Zuleika. The return of the 
prodigals. Ghosts! Some tall explanations are in order. "I never 
was drowned in all my life, was I, Jerry?" "We were lashed to 
a mast and we floated and floated and floated!" A couple of 
heroes. The Terrible Turk hunting for Jack and Jerry. "A Turk 
never injures an insane man." Jack feigns insanity. "We are 
leaving this roof forever!" The end of a perfect day. 

Act III. — Mrs. Bridger's garden. Elmer and Zuleika start on 
their honeymoon. Mabel forgives Jack, but her mamma does not. 
They decide to elope. Jerry's scheme works. The two McNutts. 
"Me middle name is George Washington, and I cannot tell a 
lie." The detective falls in the well. "It's his ghost!" Jack and 
Jerry preparing for the elopement. Mary Ann appears at the 
top of the ladder. A slight mistake. "It's a burglar, mum, I've 
got him!" The Terrible Turk finds his Zuleika. Happiness at last. 

Foiled, By Heck! 

By FREDERICK G. JOHNSON 

Price, 25 Cents 

A truly rural drama, in 1 scene and several dastardly acts; 
3 males, 3 females. Time, 35 minutes. Scene: The mortgaged 
home of the homespun drama, between sunup and sundown. 
Characters: Reuben, a nearly self-made man. His wife, who 
did the rest. Their perfectly lovely daughter. Clarence, a rustic 
hero, by ginger! Olivia, the plaything of fate, poor girl. Syl- 
vester, with a viper's heart. Curses! Curses! Already he has 
the papers. A screaming travesty on the old-time "b'gosh" drama. 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 



Lighthouse Nan 

By SHELDON PARMER 

Price, 25 Cents 

A sea-coast drama, in 3 acts; 5 males, 4 females. Time, 214 
hours. Scenes: 1 exterior, 1 interior. Its intense and human 
story vibrates with startling- incident and hea'rt-gripping situa- 
tions only relieved by the cleanest comedy. It tells the story of 
a little uneducated waif, mistreated and overworked but full of 
merriment and kind, natural sympathy for good. A star role 
for a soubrette, one of the best ever written and ranking- with 
Sand's Fachon, Harte's M'liss. No greater role of this type has 
ever been offered to amateurs. The other parts are almost equally 
good, leading man, Indian character heavy, dude, old man (gen- 
teel) and Ichabod Buzzer, a great part for a character comedian. 
The ladies' roles are Nan, the little waif. Moll Buzzer, an old 
hag, Hortense Enlow, an adventuress who makes good, and Lady 
Sarah, an aristocratic young woman. The heart of the audience 
will beat in sympathy with the trials of Nan and rejoice at her 
ultimate triumph. SYNOPSIS 

Act T. — A Carolina lighthouse, 'long about sundown. Injun Jim 
starts trouble. "I'm an Injun, and an Injun never forgets a wrong!" 
Nan learns to read. The locket. "That's the face I always dream 
about. Do you reckon she is my sure-enough mother?" The visitors 
from the city. Sir Arthur, the speculator. "I never seen a real 
live speckled-tater afore." Nan goes hunting for a mollie cot- 
tontail and catches an Injun. "Stand right whar you are, or I'll 
blow you clean into Kingdom Come!" 

Act II. — Cap'n Buzzer and his mule January. "That 'ere mule 
gits more'n' more like my wife every day he lives." Nan bap- 
souses a biddy hen to keep her from setting. Nan poses as a 
lady, with disastrous results. Ned finds his wild rose. "You 
talk jest like the Bible." Injun Jim's secret. "I am your father!" 
The disgrace of Hortense. Mr. Enlow decides to give Nan a 
chance and send her to school. Injun Jim and Nan, "Hands up, 
Injun Jim!" 

Act III. — Two years later, Mr. Enlow's library on Christmas 
night. "Either she leaves this house tomorrow, or I leave it!" 
Nan comes home from boarding school. Ichabod and Moll visit 
the city. The Cap'n sits on the couch. "Holy mackerel, I thought 
I set on a cat." "January's got the heaves, old Sukey's got a 
calf, the old red hen's got ten little chicks and the blacksmith's 
wife's got twins. Population is shore a-growin'!" All is right at 
last; with the ringing of Christmas chimes comes peace on earth; 
good- will to men! 

A Watch, a Wallet and a Jack of Spades 

By LINDSEY BARBEE 

Price, 15 Cents 

Comedy; 3 males, 6 females. Time. 40 minutes. Scene: A 
living room. Three famous detectives are engaged to unravel 
the mystery of the disappearance of a roomer. At intervals a 
number of his personal belongings are returned by post. The 
wise sleuths discover bushels of clues that involve everybody 
and bring about a humorous climax. The case was the inven- 
tion of an imaginative girl in an attempt to secure material for 
a mystery play. French, Irish and colored servants help supply 
the fun. Will appeal to schools as there is no love theme. 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 



Safety First 



By SHELDON PARMER 

Price, 25 Cents 

Farce-comedy, in 3 acts; 5 males, 5 females. Time, 2i/4 hours. 
Scenes: A parlor and a garden, easily arranged. A sprightly 
farce full of action and with a unique plot teeming with unex- 
pected turns and twists that will make the audience wonder "what 
on earth is coming next." Behind the fun and movement lurks 
a great moral: Always tell the truth to your wife. The cast 
includes three young men, a funny policeman, a terrible Turk, 
two young ladies, a society matron, a Turkish maiden and Mary 
O'Finnigan, the Irish cook. The antics of the terror-stricken 
husband, the policeman, the dude and the Irish cook start the 
audience smiling at 8:15 and send them home with aching sides 
from the tornado of fun at 10:40. Suitable for performance any- 
where, but recommended for lodges, clubs and schools. Not a 
coarse or suggestive line in the play. 

SYNOPSIS 

Act I. — Jack's lil suburban home. A misplaced husband. "He 
kissed me good-bye at eighteen minutes after seven last night, 
and I haven't laid eyes on him since." The Irish maid is full 
of sympathy but she imagines a crime has been committed. 
Elmer, the college boy, drops in. And the terrible Turk drops 
out. "Sure the boss has eloped wid a Turkey!" Jerry and Jack 
come home after a horrible night. Explanations. "We joined the 
Shriners, I'm the Exalted Imported Woggle and Jack is the Ba- 
zook!" A detective on the trail. Warrants for John Doe, Richard 
Roe and Mary Moe. "We're on our way to Florida!" 

Act II. — A month later. Jack and Jerry reported drowned at 
sea. The Terrible Turk looking for Zuleika. The return of the 
prodigals. Ghosts! Some tall explanations are in order. "I never 
was drowned in all my life, was I, Jerry?" "We were lashed to 
a mast and we floated and floated and floated!" A couple of 
heroes. The Terrible Turk hunting for Jack and Jerry. "A Turk 
never injures an insane man." Jack feigns insanity. "We are 
leaving this roof forever!" The end of a perfect day. 

Act III. — Mrs. Bridger's garden. Elmer and Zuleika start on 
their honeymoon. Mabel forgives Jack, but her mamma does not. 
They decide to elope. Jerry's scheme works. The two McNutts. 
"Me middle name is George Washington, and I cannot tell a 
lie." The detective falls in the well. "It's his ghost!" jack and 
Jerry preparing for the elopement. Mary Ann appears at the 
top of the ladder. A slight mistake. "It's a burglar, mum, I've 
got him!" The Terrible Turk finds his Zuleika. Happiness at last. 

Foiled, By Heck! 

By FREDERICK G. JOHNSON 

Price, 25 Cents 

A truly rural drama, in 1 scene and several dastardly acts; 
3 males, 3 females. Time. 35 minutes. Scene: The mortgaged 
home of the homespun drama, between sunup' and sundown. 
Characters: Reuben, a nearly self-made man. His wife, who 
did the rest. Their perfectly lovely daughter. Clarence, a rustic 
hero, by ginger! Olivia, the plaything of fate, poor girl. Syl- 
vester, with a viper's heart. Curses! Curses! Already he has 
the papers. A screaming travesty on the old-time "b'gosh" drama. 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 



DENiSON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Price IS Cents Each, Postpaid, Unless Different Price is Given 



M. r. 
Winning Widow, 2 acts, VA hrs. 

(25c) 2 4 

Women Who Did, 1 hr...(35t;) 17 

Yankee Detective, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 8 3 

FARCES, COMEDIETAS, Etc. 

All on a Summer's Day, 40 min. 4 6 

April Fools, 30 min 3 

Assessor, The, 10 min 3 2 

Baby Show at Pineville, 20 min. 19 

Billy's Chorus Girl, 25 min... 3 3 

Billy's Mishap, 20 min 2 3 

Borrowed Luncheon, 20 min.. 5 

Borrowing Trouble, 20 min 3 5 

Case Against Casey, 40 min... 23 

Country Justice, 15 min 8 

Cow that Kicked Chicago, 20 m. 3 2 

Divided Attentions, 35 min 1 4 

Dude in a Cyclone, 20 min 4 2 

Family Strike, 20 min 3 3 

First-Class Hotel, 20 min 4 

For Love and Honor, 20 min.. 2 1 

Fudge and a Burglar, 15 min.. 5 

Fun in Photo C-^llery, 30 min.. 6 10 
Great Medical Dispensary, 30 m. 6 
Great Pumpkin Case, 30 min.. 12 

Hans Von Smash, 30 min.... 4 3 

I'm Not Mesilf at All, 25 min. 3 2 
Init'at'ng a Grander, 25 min.. 8 

Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min... 3 3 

Is the Editor In? 20 min... 4 2 

Kansas Immigrants, 20 min... 5 1 

Men Not Wanted, 30 min 8 

Mike Donovan's Courtshio. 15 m. 1 3 

Tilother Goose's Goslings," 30 m. 7 9 

Mrs. Jenkins' Brilliant Idea, 35m. 8 

Mrs. Stubbins' Bonk Agent, 30 m. 3 2 

My Wife's Relations, 1 hr 4 6 

Not a Man in the House, 40 m. 5 

Pair of Lunatics, 20 min 1 1 

Patsy O'Wang, 35 min 4 3 

Pat, the Apothecary, 35 min.. 6 2 

Persecuted_ Dutchman, 30 min. 6 3 

Regular Fix, 35 min 6 4 

Second Childhood, 15 min 2 2 

Shadows, 35 min 2 2 

Sing a Song of Seniors, 30 min. 7 

Taking Father's Place, 30 min. 5 3 

Taming a Tiger, 30 min 3 

That Rascal Pat, 30 min 3 2 

Those Red Envelopes, 25 min. 4 4 
Too Much of a Good Thing, 45 

min 3 6 

Turn Him Out, 35 min 3 2 

Two Aunts and a Photo, 20 m. 4 
Two Gentlemen in a Fix, 15 m. 2 

Two Ghosts in White, 20 min.. 8 

Two of a Kind, 40 min 2 3 

Uncle pick's Mistake, 20 min ..32 

Want^fla Correspondent, 45 m. 4 4 

Wanted a Hero, 20 min 1 1 



M. F. 

Wide Enough for Two, 45 min. 5 2 

Wrorig Baby, 25 min.... S 

Yankee Peddler, 1 hr 7 3 

VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES, MON- 
OLOGUES, ETHIOPIAN PLAYS. 

Ax'in' Her Father, 25 min.... 2 3 
Booster Club of Blackville, 25 m.lO 
Breakfast Food for Two, 20 m. I 1 

Cold Finish, 15 min., 2 .1 

Colored Honeymoon, 25 min... 2 2 
Coon Creek Courtship, 15 min. 1 1 
Coming Champion, 20 min.... 2 
Coontown Thirteen Club, 25 m. 14 

Counterfeit Bills", 20 min 1 1 

Darktown Fire Brigade, 25 min. 10 
Doings of a Dude, 20 min.... 2 1 

Dutch Cocktail, 20 min 2 

For Reform, 20 min 4 

Fresh Timothy Hay, 20 min ..21 
Glickman, the Glazier, 25 min. 1 1 
Good Momin' Judge, 35 min.. 9 2 

Her Hero, 20 min. 1 1 

Hey, Rube! IS min 1 

Home Run, 15 min 1 1 

Tumbo Jum, 30 min 4 3 

Little Red School House. 20 m. 4 

Love and Lather, 35 min 3 2 

Marriage and After, 10 min.. 1 

Memphis Mose, 25 min 5 1 

Mischievous Nigger, 25 min ..42 

Mistaken Miss, 20 min 1 1 

Mr. and Mrs. Fido, 20 min 1 1 

Oh, Doctor! 30 min 6 2 

One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m. 2 
Oshkosh Next Week, 20 min . . 4 

Oyster Stew, 10 min 2 

Pete Yansen's Gurl's Moder, 10m. 1 
Pickles for Two, 15 min..... 2 
Pooh Bah of Peacetown, 35 min. 2 2 
Prof. Black's Funnygraph, 15 m. 6 

Sham Doctor, 10 min 4 2 

Si and I, 15 min.. 1 

Special Sale, 15 min 2 

Stage Struck Darky, 10 min.. 2 1 
Sunny Son of Italy, 15 min.. 1 

Time Table, 2-0 min . 1 1 

Tramp an-d the Actress, 20 min. 1 1 
Troubled by Ghosts, 10 min... 4 
Troubles of Rozinski, 15 min.. 1 
Two Jay Detectives, 15 min.. 3 
Umbrella Mender, 15 min.... 2 

Uncle Jeff, 25 min 5 2 

What Happened to Hannah, 15m. 1 1 



A srsat number of 

Standard and Amateur Plays 

not found here are listed in 

Denlson's Catalogue 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers, 1 54 W. Randolph St. , Chicago 



POPULAR ENTERTAI^ 

Price. Illustrated Paper Cove 



=31 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 




i 



N this Series 
are found 
books touching 
every feature 
in the enter- 
tainment field. 
Finely made, 
good paper, 
clear print and 
each book has 
an attrac t i v e 
individual cov- 
er design, 
A Partial List 

DIALOGUES 

All Sorts of Dialogues. 

Selected, fine for older pupils. 
Catchy Comic Dialogues. 

Very clever; for young people.' 
Children's Comic Dialogues. 

From six to eleven years of age. 
Country School Dialogues. 

Brand new, original. 
Dialogues for District Schools. 

For country schools. 
Dialogues from Dickens. 

Thirteen selections. 
The Friday Afternoon Dialogues. 

Over 50,000 copies sold. 
From Tots to Teens. 

Dialogues and recitations. 
Humorous H6mespun Dialogues. 

For older ones. 
Little People's Plays. 

From 7 to 13 years of age. 
Lively Dialogues. 

For ^11 ages; mostly humorous. 
Merry Little Dialogues. 

Thirty-eight original selections. 
When the Lessons are Over. 

Dialogues, drills, plays. 
Wide Awake Dialogues. 

Original successful. 

SPEAKERS, MONOI OGUES 

Choice Pieces for Little People. 

A child's sp(?aker. 
The Comic Entertainer. 

Recitations, monologues, dialogues. 
Dialect Readings. 

Irish, Dutch, Negro, Scotch, etc. 
The Favorite Speaker. 

Choice prose and poetry. 
The Friday Afternoon Speaker. 

For pupils of all ages. 
Humorous Monologues. 

Particularly for ladies. 
Monologues for Young Folks. 

Clever, humorous, original. 




Mon( 

L 

Scrai 

^ 015 910 077 7 1 

poetry, ib iNcs., per inu. «wx, 

DRILLS 

The Best Drill Book. 

Very popular drills and marches. 
The Favorite Book of Drills. 

Drills that sparkle with originality. 
Little Plays With Drills. 

For children from 6 to 11 years. 
The Surprise Drill Book. 

Fresh, novel, drills and marches. 

SPECIALTIES 

The Boys' Entertainer. 

Monologues, dialogues, drills. 
Children's Party Book. 

Invitations, decorations, games. 
The Days We Celebrate. 

Entert jinments for all the holidays. 
Good 1 nings for Christmas. 

Recitations, dialogues, drills. . 
Good Things for Sunday Schools, 

Dialogues, exercises, recitations. 
Good Things for Thanksgiving. 

A gem of a book. 
Good Things for Washington 

and Lincoln Birthdays. 
Little Folks' Budget. 

Easy pieces to speak, songs. 
One Hundred Entertainments. 

New parlor diversions, socials. 
Patriotic Celebrations. 

Great variety of material. 
Pictured Readings and Tableaux. 

Entirely original features. 
Pranks and Pastimes. 

Parlor games for children. 
Private Theatricals. 

How to put on plays. 
Shadow Pictures, Pantomimes, 

Charades, and how to prepare. 
Tableaux and Scenic Readings. 

New and novel; for all ages. 
Twinkling Fingers and Sway- 
ing Figures. For little tots. 
Yuletlde Entertainments. 

A choice Christmas collection. 

MINSTRELS, JOKES 

Black American Joker. 

Minstrels' and end men's gags. 
A Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy. 

Monolop;ues, stump speeches, etc. 
Laughland,via the Ha-Ha Route. 

A merry trip for fun tourists. 
Negro Minstrels. 

All about the business. 
The New Jolly Jester. 

Funny stories, jokes, gags, ete. 

Large Illustrated Catalogue Free 



T.S.DENISON&COIVIPANY,Publishers.154W. Randolph St.. Chicago 



